Jesus Tells West Whiteland Man To Continue Taking Extra Wing

The following is true life story that actually happened to That Blue Yak Marketing Manager Ted Murphy:

First off, let me tell you that the wings at the Downingtown Wegmans are downright delicious. You can get 10 wings for $6,99. You get to pick from several styles including BBQ, Teriyaki, Southern style and more. It's a self serve so a few months ago it became a bit tempting to "accidentally" put an 11th wing in the box. My crime went unnoticed 5 times.

In addition to my eyes being bigger than my stomach and not being able to finish the wings AND thinking what I was doing might be wrong, I decided last week to even things out be getting only 9 wings.

Feeling like a saint, I went to my car to eat the wings. I threw my tie over my shoulder so it wouldn't get in the food. Then I lined my lap with paper towels because I'm such a messy eater that I need to take major precautions so I don't get food all over myself.

The carnage began. The wings were as tasty as ever and I ate them carefully as I drove over to the Home Depot across route 30. I spilled not a single heavenly drop of sauce on myself which was a miracle. I parked the car and reached for the extra napkins that I thought were in my car. To my horror, I was out of napkins and my hands were completely caked with sauce and the sticky teryaki sauce. It looked like I'd been having a catch with sticky buns. I tried to wipe some of the gook off with tissues but the tissues stuck like feathers to tar.

I decided that I'd have to walk briskly to the bathroom to clean up. My fear was that if I ran into someone and they put their hand out to shake I would have to say, "Oh, I can't shake - See? My hands are completely covered with sauce and tissues."

I arrived in the bathroom, turned on the water and this is the image that stared back at me:

I think we can all take this as a signal from Jesus that he was punishing me for taking 9 wings. I don't know why he wants me to return to taking 11 wings but I will have to follow his orders. He is Jesus after all.