Costume Rental Places: Please Contact Whiskey Marie

I was reading my friend Whiskey Marie's blog post this morning and it turns out she's having some issues with her contractor. She says in her post that she's going to give him a break and hand him a get out of jail free card.

Since the lovely blogger Gwen so nicely gave her a gift basket recently, it's making me ponder what I can give her so I too can be her friend. Well, I'm already her blogger friend I assume, but I want to be MORE than that. She's one of these chicks that's not only really good looking and sexy but she's also really cool and she's a rocker type and doesn't care about posting pics of herself in goofy (cute) poses. I'm seein' the relationship developing into something like we're hanging out, watching Elvis Costello and other Punk (and some New Wave) videos - (I'll whip out Waiting for Guffman if things seem to be getting too serious). We'll probably be chompin' on some really fresh shrimp and eating pistachios. And she's really cool too- she insists I throw the shells on the floor. She's like that.

Anyways, we're also discussing blogging and she says, "I really like that you're a DOCTOR Zibbs. Would you mind taking a look at this mole and make sure it hasn't moved?"

She pulls up her white tank top (no bra - she's like that) and points to her nipple, jokingly meaning that her nipple is the mole. After she pins me to the floor and tickles me, crazy, laughed filled screwing begins..Squeeze's "Pulling Muscles From A Shell" is blaring. .....Man this is gonna be great!

OK, here's my gift so we can move this friendship up to the next level: Instead of just handing your contractor the Get Out of Jail Free Card, I'll come over, put on the Monopoly Man outfit that's going to be arriving at your house soon and hand it to him wearing the costume. And to really make it great, you'll say to him, there's one more thing to fix, it's in that closet. You leave the room and when he opens the closet, I emerge, all royally and hand his lazy ass the card and say, "You've earned this" (and I'll say it exactly how King Friday from Mr Rogers would say it. I might ad lib something in there about Lady Elaine but I'm not sure yet).

OK, there you go. Call me when the costume arrives. I'll bring the shrimp and pistachios.