I'm Totally Picking a Dance Off Fight This Weekend
When I get pissed, instead of using fisticuffs, I use the good ole fashioned clodhoppers -that's right. Me feet. Because this weekend, I'm having my bad ass a dance off. Forget Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, Footloose, Singing in the Rain, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo - this gonna be an all out dance off war!
I'm gonna start by getting my old gang back together, the Zibbs Tip Taps. We broke up years ago years ago after one our lead dance fighters got a $13 per hour job at the factory - which was a lot back then. But I'm gonna track everyone down and get them back together:
- Mel "The Human Helicopter" Morris
- Rob Ott
- "Twinkle Toe Twinkle Ho" Harry
- Leo the Tard
and the rest of the gang that wears green, doesn't have many lines and stands in the background and usually gets injured or killed early in the fight.
HOLY CRAP, SOMEONE'S COMING. CHECK BACK LATER!!!
11 comments:
I realize that you get the requisite "Oh Zibbs, you're the funniest guy and what a huge dong you have" comment in every thread, but seriously, Heel Toe Heel Toe Tony about made me lose my coffee.
MJenks: thanks. I'm more of a fan of Rob Ott (get it Robot)? I'm wondering how many readers will figure out that tricky mind puzzle?
If you can take down my man Ozone then you are in fact sir the the dance off fight champion of the world.
OMG ROB OTT = ROBOT. SHIT, THANK GOD YOU LEFT THAT COMMENT I TOTALLY DID NOT GET THAT. WHEW. YOU SIR ARE A SAVIOR. A. SAVIOR. AND SO DAMN CLEVER.
Also: Oh Zibbs, you're the funniest guy and what a huge dong you have!
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but Leo the Tard was killed in '92 in an unfortunate short bus accident north of Salt Lake City.
I'm surprised you didn't know this.
Rob Ott, however is alive and well. But, sadly, his outdated operating system has forced him into a life of panhandling and prostitution down by the docks.
I think I'm in love with Hell Toe Heel Toe Tony...when you find him can you pass him my way?
See, Rob Ott was clever. You could have taken it to a whole new level by calling him "Mr. Rob Otto".
Plus, WhiskeyMarie made me about lose my Diet Dr. Pepper with her sad tale of Leo the Tard. Oh, WhiskeyMarie, you are so funny and have a huge dong.
Wait. That doesn't seem right...
Have a naked dance-off just so we can see who's really got the biggest dong.
Cut to the chase guy. Are any of the dance off team ladies and are they hot? A guy needs to know.
Beckeye: as for the swinging dongs, that's Mel "the Helicopter" Morris's specialty. He swings it sidesways like a helicopter while dancing.
Zibbs-you are too much...too much! That was funnier 'n a bag of rats. What?!
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