Ground Floor Biz Opportunity - Hearing Ear Birds.
Blind people got it made. You know - with the seeing eye dog and all.
Well not really but some of them get the dog which is probably pretty cool.
Deaf people though - they get nothing. Until now. Ladies and Gentleman I give you...
The Hearing Ear Bird.
It's very similar to the seeing eye dog but it's a bird. And it's for hearing. Not seeing. At first I was thinking about using the ostrich but they can be very hard to train so I might have to try a few different birds out.
Maybe the parrot's the way to go. So like if a deaf person - let's say her name was Polly - was hungry for lets say - a cracker and she couldn't communicate that to the cracker vendor because sometimes deaf people talk in a way that people can't understand like, "I one cwaker"* - the bird in this case would be able to step up to the plate and aid in getting that cracker.
Please contact me privately if you'd like to get in on the ground floor of this money making business. I will need people to invest, people to train birds and people to find deaf people. Please figure out which area you'd like to help with BEFORE you call as time is money.
OK. I'll go wait by the phone now.
*Translation: I want cracker.
22 comments:
This can get tragic in the case where a deaf person wants to buy a cat.
I wouldn't mind training the birds. But I have to ask, will the use of profanity be a problem?
In my humble opinion I think that sometimes it can actually aid in the efficiency of getting things done.
Oh...and I just thought of something. The birds I train could also be used to help deaf Tourettes syndrome patients.
I would use ferrets, or better yet wolverines, because people pay attention to those little shitheads of the animal kingdom better.
Blond Godess -I think cursing HAS to be used in the training.
Talk about irony! birds don't even have ears to speak of.
T-Ro - sure they do. They're right on...Wait.
I gotta go check something.
Tell that thing to quit staring at me!!!
...
look! There it goes again!
Why in the world can't I come up with brilliant things like this? This is a money maker, right here!
My talents tend towards the behind the scenes...got anything for me?
You'll be so innundated with phone calls for this great business scheme, that you'll need help with answering calls. This will be a 24/7 operation. You got an account in the Caymans to hide all the money?
I've been training lemurs to help people who have lost the sense of smell. Countless toasted bagels will be saved from burning through my efforts.
To quote Buzz to Woody, "You are a strange little man".
I was going to act now, but you didn't have a count down timer in the corner of your blog for the next 10 callers.
Diane - you know I'm tall.
Use parrots but make sure they have a lisp.
CHICKENS!
Er . . . just wanted to shout chickens really.
Mind you, if you used a chicken you could eat it as soon as your deafness healed up.
OK that Trooper Thorn comment had me laughing out loud when I read it yesterday.
Where does one go to find a deaf person? hmmmmmm......
- Jennifer
Jennifer - maybe you can go into a crowd with a blow horn. Those that don't turn around may be deaf.
I'm the one who wants to marry you.
Kirby - if something happens to my wife I'll contact you.
P.S. Don't even try killing her either.
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