People In Theater Won't Shut Up! New Moon In Chester County. Wolves.

You would think someone of my stature would have his own film screening room. But believe it or not, I go to the regular movie theater with the area peasants. I'm not kidding..I'm right there amongst you.

And it pisses me off sometimes.

If you've read my blog for a while, you probably know that for years I've been sneaking in long lunches to see movies during the day or I try to go to the first show on a Sunday. And I do this because there are hardly any other people in the theater.

And you should see some of the losers that go to the movies by themselves. I sometimes want to mumble, "Don't have any friends eh? Maybe you should introduce yourself to that guy over there..he's a lone wolf too. Stray from the pack".

Anyways, I took the lovely lady to Downingtown see the Twilight movie New Moon* on Sunday and I've got to tell you that people can make me sick.

Why do people have to blurt things out during a movie? "Oh no!" "Haha. I can't believe he said that". "Whoa, he's been working out".

Is it really that hard to control yourself? And what makes me even sicker are the people that have to laugh at even the slightest attempt at humor on the screen. I KNOW that most of the these people wouldn't be laughing that loudly if they were watching the movie by themselves at home.

And the other thing they do is read signs that are on screen and repeat lines. Shut up!

I have two theories:

1) They're so excited that they're out seeing a movie with their friends. They're like little kids and they're getting caught up in the moment. There is still no excuse for this.

2) The second theory makes me even more ill. They're really excited to be at the movies and when they overdo their laughs, they WANT people to hear them. They're showing off because they know that this is one of the few times that they can be the center of attention without people telling them to be quiet.

I wish I were like my friend Flare or my Dad. Because neither of them would put up with this nonsense. Here's what each of them would do:

Flare: Yo Fatty, shut the fuck up! (or) Yo Flyers Shirt, shut the fuck up!

My Dad: (walks over to offenders) Listen, we're trying to watch the movie here. You have two choices, either keep quiet or I'm going to ask the ushers to remove you from the theater. Are we clear on that? (people look at him like he's crazy) Are we clear? (they nod...then shut the hell up).

I think they should have devices in theaters where you can click on an area of seats that hold these offenders. After three clicks, they should be thrown the hell out. No questions asked.

*as for New Moon, it wasn't bad. The scenes with the wolves and the scenes in Italy were the best.