A Very Important Message From THAT BLUE YAK. PRESS CONFERENCE.

It is true! I AM the most important person on the internet. Look at all of those comments. It's unheard of. It's gotta be some kind of record.

I was gonna wait until I got 100 comments but I changed my mind. Plus, I don't want to be responsible for any suicides.

Now here is my statement:

If I read the post about me bitching, my response would have been something along the lines of "Stop being a big baby". Which is what many of you wrote. I honestly wrote that post in a minute because I was in a pissy mood. So there you go.

But some of the comments just baffle me.

As for needing validation? Of course I do.

As for writing and not caring who reads it? Hell no. That's like writing something, then printing it out and throwing it in the trash. That's no fun.

But the comment that really blew my mind was from Katrocket.* She wrote:

Why would we want to read a blog that's all about how awesome you think your blog is? You're not very funny. You regularly insult your readers. And obviously you have some weird issues about commenting. That's not very interesting.

I honestly TRIED to figure you out for a while because i saw some potential, but when you sent a bunch of people over to my blog to guilt me into writing comments on YOUR blog, that was the last straw. Now I just think you're a jerk.

Now fuck off or get on with it. The choice is yours.

Really? A dick move is sending readers to your blog to guilt you into commenting? HAHAHA. Why would that bother somebody? Somebody, please tell me. Isn't half the fun of leaving comments saying something goofy? How could someone feel guilted into leaving a comment?

Insulting readers? Of course I do. I often call them peasants or the commoners but who reading this blog would be offended? It's so absurd it makes me laugh.

And saying how awesome my blog is?? It is though. That's exactly what this blog is about. Being a self absorbed, clueless parody. How could anyone not get that after reading a few posts? I don't get it.

And saying I'm not very funny? That's fine. I'm not going to please everyone all the time. I get people saying some posts are too weird and others saying to write more about myself so I'm never gonna please everyone. But I do get lots of comments and emails saying I'm hyterical. So whatever.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to pick up my capes from the dry cleaners.

Let the comments begin.

*and I do truelly hope you keep reading my blog. Perhaps reading it aloud or with a friend would make it funnier. I don't know.