BREAKING NEWS: A Ventriloquist Dummy Might Find A New Home! Creepy.
I was at my mom's the other day. She always leaves bags of things for us at the door so we doesn't forget to take the stuff she's either bought for us or wants to get rid of. It's usually cakes and pastries or magazines and coupons.
So I look down on the floor and I see something curled up in a white plastic bag*. Guess what it was? Yup! A Danny O'Day Ventriloquist dummy. Just like the one I used to have when I was a kid.
And I've got to tell you - it looked super creepy curled up in a plastic bag. Like it was a dead body. I should have taken a picture.
So then when I was over my sister's house the other day I was telling her about it and she said it was her son's but it was creeping the kids out so much that she needed to get it out of the house. They were terrified by it. She then said my mom put it in a bag by the door because, "She knows you like things like that".
Excellent. When I get it I'm totally gonna use the Flip camera and film it. Maybe I'll do a blog question and answer with it. What do you think? What is the best use for this figure (ventriloquist jargon for dummies).
*If I took a picture of the dummy in the bag it could be used on the movie poster of a movie I could make about a family that keeps trying to get rid of a haunted dummy. It could be called, "Don't Forget To Take Out The Trash" or "Just Put It In A Bag".
19 comments:
..another title option:
"I'm.Not.Trash"
I think you should use it to show us your favorite sexual positions.
BE Earl - And people think I'M sick?
The only reason ventriloquists came up with terms because they were tired of being told they play with dolls.
Maybe you can do a scene by scene remake of "Magic". You could play Anthony Hopkins or Ann Margret. Your call.
..of course if I could get my wife to agree to that...with clothes on of course..
Who am I kidding. She won't do it.
Be sure to dress it in a t-shirt that reads, "Don't be a dummy! That Blue Yak: Google it."
Omg, that is sooooo funny. My mil does the same exact thing. We got one of those Peruvian marionettes in a white plastic bag, and let me tell you, they are just as creepy.
I would love to see you do a question and answer film with yours. Excellent idea!
Do you also get left over soup that's been in her freezer for months? If so, we might be related.
Yeah. They creep me out. That and clowns.
And blue yaks.
I agree with JenJen. Except for yaks. The mongoose loves blue yaks.
This reminds me of an internship I had in college. My professor had a eBay business where he sold antique dolls. You had to take pictures of them with their clothes on and off so you could get detailed pics of the porcelain. Sooo....I essential took pictures of naked dolls in my professor's basement.
Yep, that's creepy.
OK. So Kristenry and I decided on Twitter what you need to do with your Flip. Stage a Victorian death photo using the ventriloquist dummy as the grieving partner. But have someone hidden, moving the sobbing doll. You'll pose as the deceased. And when I say pose, I mean really creepy. Then you'll release this film on your blog for Halloween. This will give you time for production.
Gwen - why are you so smart and brilliant?
AbelPet - I will put that into the suggestion pile.
(I actually wish I had someone that was into editing because I would make a boatload of videos)
Sounds to me like the Yak needs an intern.
I second ABS' suggestion. It *has* to be this, with plenty of time for your intern to edit/tweak for a Halloween release (please please please).
Any way you slice it Zibsy, he's creepy.
Of course the whole thing is right up your alley. You'll give him a good home.
While riding shotgun around town, pull up on the left side of a car full of kids and then spring the figure up trying to terrify them, then hide it and look innocent so the driver won't suspect.
Or, just walk into a store with it, and when someone asks you if you are a ventriloquist, respond "No, why do you ask?" without moving your lips.
There's a vantriliquist doll in your family and THIS is the first time we're hearing about this? Dr. Zibbs. No. Please, buy him and name him and make him a regular feature. You will be the next Dooce, except for a male Dooce with magic tricks. I AM BEGGING YOU.
P.S.: My word verification is Novachan. Name suggestion, right there.
My word verification at ANOTHER site was Doopido. Bam! That's a keeper for your creepy little guy.
Steeky Bee - I've mentioned my Danny O'Day from my early childhood on THAT BLUE YAK. I'm just too lazy to go back and find the link.
put it in a carseat and put it on the top of your car. Drive around town and wave at people.
T-Ro - I will follow your orders.
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