Boy Forced To LIsten To Dickie Goodman At Cousin's House in 5th Grade.

When I was a kid we'd visit my cousin's about three times a year. My father and his sister didn't get along. That's why it was so infrequent. And that was fine with me. Because even though they were nice. They were total nerds. And it was always a really uncomfortable visit. Kind of like, "You kids are the same age. You must have things in common. Go hang out together for three hours."

I remember going over once in about 5th or 6th grade and as as soon as I walked in the door the two cousins that were my age were like, "Jimmy! You've got to hear this record!!"

So we went upstairs and they were so excited running up, "This is the funniest thing you ever heard! Wait till you hear this!" I knew there was no way it could be.

And they proceeded to put on "Mr Jaws" by Dickie Goodman. It's supposed to be funny. And they sat there and stared at me in anticipation. So excited. Waiting for me to laugh.

And I sat there stonefaced. Uncomfortable. Knowing this was one of the stupidest things ever. And then they started mimicing it as it was playing. I remember being so uncomfortable so I pretended to laugh at parts. But I've always been bad at that. Especially when something is SO not funny. And I STILL hate when people do that. They'll say, "Bill, tell that hysterical story you were telling me." And depending on who is telling it I can tell right away it's going to be a snoozefest.

And they were all, "WAIT..LISTEN TO THIS PART!! '..with me is the local sheriff. Sheriff? What do you intend to do?'"

And then they'd look at me. Then when it was over they would crack up and say, "DO YOU BELIEVE THAT!! We gotta hear that again!!!" And they put it on again. And again. And yes....even again. Here is the nightmare: