West Chester Man Ignores Idiot at Victory Beer. Downingtown.
I've always enjoyed talking to interesting strangers. But bore asses? Forget it. And I'm pretty good at sizing people up before I make initial contact.
But in the days of old if some weirdo started talking to me I would be friendly and talk back. Not anymore. I've aged if you will. Like how I told people in the movie theater the other month to stop talking. So I was in Victory Beer* the other week and some dude sat next to me and this is what happened...like this was his actual opening statement...
Dude: So I was at the Post Office and they take your picture with the white background. My mom said I had to get the picture taken and then I'll send one to my girlfriend who lives in Guatamala.
(I just keep staring ahead).
Dude: (responding to TV) Man this country is messed up these days man. I don't know how they're gonna turn it around. Right?
(I look at him and just nod. I notice he's got this fucked up eye).
Then he babbles on about things. On and on. Probably said at least seen or eight more things. I don't say a word. In the past I would have talked to the dude because I'm so fucking polite but there's no way I'm going to spend an hour talking to this idiot. So finally...
Dude: (frustration in his voice) You know...You looked like an intelligent guy. I was just trying to have a conversation.
This is when I turned and I swear to God I said this...
Me: I'm sorry. I can't hear. (As if I was deaf).
OH YES I DID!! Case closed!
*And that beer pictured is the Victory Beer "Silver Back". It's a combo of Storm King Stout and Golden Monkey. Pretty darn tasty.
14 comments:
Way to go!
What in the heck is going on over here???
Happy THURSDAY!!
~ Jennifer
Hahahaha
I'm pretty bitchy towards people like that, too. I mean, I don't want to be mean, but STFU, already. I hate it when people can't pick up on nonverbal cues.
Did you use a deaf person voice for full effect??
Jennifer whasssss up??
Crotch after I said it I thought of you that. Or "dat" as a deaf person would say.
And some of my besy fwends are deaf so I can say that.
But you can't.
And I won't. In fact, none of this would ever happen to me since I never go to a bar alone to stare into a glass of beer, with a stack of singles piled on the bar, pretending to be interested in the european soccer game on the TV, trying to avoid conversations with that guy.....but don't let me stop you...
Crotch - it won't ever happen because you're afraid to walk into a bar alone:
You: wha wha wha where should I sit?
Bartender: Sit right down here sir.
You: Uh uh ih OK (knees fucking clanking together like Don fucking Knotts)
Bartender: What will you have?
Then you run out of the place and dive through the window like the Cowardly Lion.
Am I right?
I think you're becoming the "crotchety old man" in public. Next week you'll yell at some kid on the street to pull his damn pants up.
That high alcohol beer attracts some real winners. I just wish I'd had the chance to shoot the shit with eddie munster back when we were both regular patrons.
If the person seems dumb enough, I just answer :
Pardonnez moi, j'ai rien compris là ...je viens juste d'arriver de Montreal - Je suis une bille en Anglais !!
So here you go, something to study on for the weekend (phrase 2 of your French lessons - Did you install that Skype thing yet ? We could make you pronounce that to the perfection)
Dominica ++
Dominica - Haha. I don't think we'll skyping. What if we're skyping and by soem weird chance I don't look great on video? Then what??
ok - here's my plan B : I'll skype put on some of those eye-patchy-things to exclude any ray of light while sleeping (Sarah Jessica Parker had one of those in SATC)
Good plan ?
Plan C : we could also conference skype ; only voices, no faces (anyone want to learn French too ? Scope ?)
Dominica - OK that's a maybe. But then I would actually have to figure out how to use Skype.
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