Mustache Rides Are STILL 5 Cents?? 70's Patches. Cherry Popping Gift.

Is anyone old enough to remember the "Mustache Rides 5 Cents" patch? And there were signs and T-shirts too.

If you don't know what mustache rides are then ask your momma because I am NOT getting into it here. But 5 cents? That's reasonable. It's almost as if the person with the mustache is offering to give them awa..... WAIT A MINUTE!

And when I was doing my research for this post I came across this gem:

What the hell? I've never seen this one before. It makes sense though. "Hey Karen thanks for letting me fuck you. Here. I got you this patch. I was going to give it to you sooner but I was too busy telling all my friends that I fucked you. OK. Later."

And look at these douchey patches. I like that one that says Truck Drivers Carry Bigger Loads."

Truck Driver (to woman at bar): Hi.

Woman: Hi.

Truck Driver: Do you know I have tons of jizz?

Woman: Excuse me??

Truck Driver: (pulls back leather vest to expose patch) It says it right here bitch! (Grabs her by the arm) ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?!

...and that's how their relationship began.