Would it be morally OK for me to shoplift the $140 glazed porcelain sculpture of a mother and child yak that I saw at Downingown's Tuesday Morning store yesterday? First of all, what are the odds that I would see this sculpture? I mean, has anyone EVER seen a sculpture of a yak -let alone two of them in one loving pose? Don't you think that it's pretty much MY sculpture now?
I mean, if security caught me and I just whipped open my jacket to show them the embroidered "That Blue Yak" logo on my $120 Egyptian pima cotton shirt - don't you think they'd just look at me then the yak sculpture - then me... and just let me go?
Just stuff it down your pants and walk out- no salesperson wants to have to be the one to ask someone, "hey, is that a Yak in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"
ReplyDeleteI say go for it.
That thing costs $140?!?
ReplyDeleteYou are entitled to it unless the person who wrote this gets there first.
ReplyDeleteFinally, your destiny to become a villain on the '60s Batman television show - specializing in Yak-themed thievery and shenanigans - is well on its way to becoming reality.
ReplyDeleteThis might be off the subject a little bit Sir but I once had a yak that sh*t chocolate. A chocolate pooping yak. Chocolate never tasted better than when it's exited a yak's hiney.
ReplyDeleteIn all my days, I can't recall seeing anything so precious. The love between a mama yak and her baby is a love that transcends space and time and may one day bring about world peace.
ReplyDeleteI say take it. As far as I'm concerned, you HAVE to.
Wow. That's beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIf you do end up taking it, video tape the thievery and put it on YouTube. But first narrate it with a funny accent and maybe some zany sound effects.
If you get caught tell them it's a gift for the Dalai Lama. No one is going to fight with you over a gift for the Dalai Lama. If that doesn't work pretend you only speak Tibetan.
ReplyDeleteI think the bank
ReplyDeletewould loan you the cash..
They would understand
the importance of it all
Wait. You found this at Tuesday Morning? And it was $140?
ReplyDeleteDoesn't that place discount by 50% or so?
$300 for a yak and baby...that's not even blue?
Obscene.
Probably. They'd know you should have that sculpture.
ReplyDeleteThe big question is: why on earth are they charging that much for the yak sculpture in Tuesday Morning of all places? Isn't everything in there supposed to be about 39 cents?
What is this Tuesday Morning you all speak of so fondly?
ReplyDeleteI say take the yak and when accousted by security, pretend to be delusional. Say you have come from the 12th century to restore the Yak to it's former glory.
First time commenter - I stopped by after commenting on that knucklehead The Palm Isle's blog....
ReplyDeleteI say if questioned by security - feign having a Yak Attack!
then hit him in the sack
If you're going to videotape your theft and post it on YouTube, maybe wear a ski mask? Good advice, Falwless.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm reading a book (Three Cups of Tea) that makes frequent mention of yak dung fires. It seems that yak dung is serious fuel in remote mountainous areas of Pakistan.
Dude, I had that special ordered! You were supposed to pick it up two days ago. That's the last time I do anything nice...
ReplyDeleteThat Yak looks like a big turd.
ReplyDeleteUm, no offense.
I yakked Saturday night....That looks fairly similar
ReplyDeleteI hate to disappoint you guys, but that isn't a yak. It's a musk ox.
ReplyDelete