I'll be totally honest. Only one thing has gone in my butt. An enima when I was five.
And there was this other time in college when I was having sex with this chick and she tried to put her finger in my butt but I clenched my butt cheeks. She got the message loud and clear. It's just not my bag baby.
My friend Flare one time read me a list of things that have been found in people's butts. One of them was a typewriter. A typewriter? Yeah right. A light bulb or a wrench I can believe but a typewriter? Do you think I was born yesterday?
How many things have been in your butt? Please list the items and the number of times the things have been there. You know - in your butt.
Please be honest. Thank you.
hhmm... i took you as the adventurous type. guess i was wrong. *shrug*
ReplyDeleteNot in my buttal region Diane.
ReplyDeleteYou should get an "Exit Only" tatoo for your buttcheeks.
ReplyDeleteThen I take it you're overdue for your prostate exam.
ReplyDeleteZibbs, I bet you've had a thermometer in there!
ReplyDeleteCorn, man!!! Corn has been in my butt. It didn't start out there, but that's where it ended up
ReplyDeleteSince I've been the victim of a "doctor's orders" colonoscopy, I guess I've had a camera with a light and 10 feet of cable up there in my goodie zone. I don't know, 'cause I made them put me to sleep. :-)
ReplyDeleteI used to know a girl who was an ER nurse at Boulder Community Hospital. They had a big glass jar that was full of all the items that were removed from peoples butts that came in for help. Some of the things she spoke of were horrifying.
ReplyDeleteLots of pens, plastic things, various sex toys, but the item that was most interesting was a bike chain.
Smile! You're on candid butt camera!
ReplyDeleteBut I was knocked out and TOTALLY missed it. Bummer.
I've been threatened with numerous items but nothing has actually made its way all the way in although a couple of kicks came ratehr close.
ReplyDeleteI only just kind of skimmed through this today, because I'm eating my dinner (appetizing). However, there is a reason that area is nicknamed "the backdoor", it's private. Still love ya though. xo
ReplyDeleteVoltarol suppository for ureteric colic, cos sometimes morphine just isn't enough.
ReplyDeleteOK. I'm waiting for some honesty here people.
ReplyDeleteWhat's that saying?
ReplyDelete"Try it...you might like it." lol!
My veri is 'phopsacs' - it made me giggle.
Nice try. I'm not tellin'. ;-)
ReplyDeleteMy wv: trapsy....kinda like the hamster in Richard Gere's ass, no?
That typewriter idea could make for some seriously interesting writing, no?
ReplyDeleteI've been to "Dr. Glove" before. So desparatly wanted send the Unholy Ghost to attack him. Sadly, stage freight and fear of retribution kept my from exercising an exorcism.
ReplyDeleteMy mans nether regions. Many times. And I like it. ;-)>
ReplyDeleteI ain't scared.
ReplyDeleteI'll give you honest.
*clears throat*
Things I have had in my butt by the Blonde Goddess.
1. A penis
2. A dildo
3. A vibrator
4. A carrot
5. A finger
6. A tongue
7. Anal beads
8. An enema
9. A colonoscopy scope
10. A penny ( I was five for god's sake!)
There ya go.
You're always going to get honest from me so be careful what you ask.
Blond Godess - thanks for being so honest.
ReplyDeleteMy next question is: How fast can you get over here?
Oh my God. I can't beat Blonde Goddess. Carrot???
ReplyDeleteI also had a friend who was an ER nurse and she once had a guy come in with a statuette of Napoleon in his bung-hole. He apparently was cleaning his house naked and he "fell on it". Yup.
ReplyDeleteno one can beat blond over there but I came pretty close sans the carrot and coin
ReplyDeleteBwahahaha! I was almost afraid to even click on these comments! You are a sick and twisted man Zibbs!
ReplyDeleteNumberonesistah - I'm the sick one? Me?
ReplyDeleteZibs my man, surely you have been accused of having your head up your butt a few times. And how many times have people told you to shove it where the sun don't shine?
ReplyDeleteBTW, you spelled enema wrong. You put the "I" in enima. Freudian slippage no doubt?
Hell of a post Zibbsy...
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say aside from a Fusilli Jerry ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5ncsjMVzcc ) and the occasional adventurous young woman explorer being swatted away, nothing has been too close to my dark incontinent.
Keep up the good work Blonde and Chele...
Swedish Chef - Good Von.
ReplyDeleteNothing has been near my chocolate starfish, ah thank you. That's a one-way street, baby.
ReplyDeleteAny woman who says nothing is a liar - it's a regular part of the annual well-woman exam.
ReplyDeleteWait. Maybe it isn't. Maybe I should stop seeing YOU for my well-woman exams.
I've only done three of the Blonde Goddess's butt moves. And one of them was not the penny.
ReplyDeleteMy doctor's finger and your blog. Don't worry, I've cleaned it off. Your blog. Not my doctor's finger. He's on his own.
ReplyDeleteI started trying to top Blonde Goddesses list, but it was too much of a pain in the ass.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe no one took that before I did, God your commenters are slacking!