So I was reading this post on Fancy's blog about when she was in sixth grade and she farted in school and from then on she was known as Farty Four Eyes. She said she was happy that her family moved the following year. Probably to get away from her smelly ass.
Just kidding Fance'.
But it reminded of me of a joke/lie I used to tell people once in a while just to be a dick. It would go like this:
Person: Have you always lived in Pennsylvania?
Me: No. We lived in Michigan until I was 12.
Person: Really?
Me: Yeah. It was really great there but in 6th grade I shit my pants at school. I was in therapy for a few months and was so embarrassed that my family just decided to move East so we could start over again. You know - get a fresh start and everything.
Person: (looking really uncomfortable) Oh...uh...really?
Me: No I'm just kidding. Where are you from?
God I love doing that to people.
I used to tell an "I shit my pants" story, too.
ReplyDeleteFast forward a score and now that I'm sans-a-gall-bladder, I'm very mindful that I don't live up to my middle school jokes.
Karma is a fickle bitch.
OMG, you sicko.
ReplyDeleteI knew that story couldn't be true. They put you in witness protection for stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteGiggle Pixie - Good one.
ReplyDeletehaha excellent!
ReplyDeleteI'm just sad I didn't think of that story first. That is great.
ReplyDeleteAnybody who farts as long and loud as me learns to re-direct the blame...
ReplyDeleteI can see how you must regale all your frends with your "shitty", I mean witty stories from your grade school days.
ReplyDeleteI would have responded with, "Really! Me too!"
ReplyDeleteWe moved around a lot as a kid, but my smelly ass always seems to follow me...
ReplyDeleteIf we ever meet, how will I ever be able to believe anything you say?
ReplyDeleteCora - I'll always tell you the truth.
ReplyDeleteI have nothing to say except that is awesome. I'm still laughing. Wow, you may be a conceited effer (based on your riveting interview I perused at UntitledBloggerProject) but you are spot on.
ReplyDeleteKimizzy - I'm not conceited. My level of awareness is just way better than most people. Kind of like how much awareness a super hero would have if that was his power.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I love about the approaching Spring - perfect time for fart jokes.
ReplyDeleteFancy said her smelly ass always seems to follow her. Now THAT's funny.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Thanks for stopping by! Enjoy your blog!
ReplyDeleteomg I am SO telling that story during sharing tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI got nothin'. I whacked my funny bone at lunch and I think I knocked something loose.
ReplyDeleteWent to Applebee's the other night and had onion soup. Lord have mercy those customers in Toys R Us paid for it afterwards. They were loud and I was proud. Amen
ReplyDeletepeace
#2
Sista #2 - please record them next time.
ReplyDelete