You're not going to believe this! Are you sitting down? I was just at Wawa* getting a chicken salad sandwich (with provolone, tomato, lettuce and sweet peppers) and I saw a woman that was the size of a miniature Sasquatch.
This Sasquatch lady was huge. I'm 6'2" and she had at least an inch or two on me but she was solid bulk. Not fat. Solid. Like a Bigfoot only a bit smaller - like a mini Bigfoot.
So I discreetly did the old elevator eyes - look up then down at her then up again. Once I got to the top floor again it was confirmed - this lady was of mini Bigfoot size.Then of course I wondered what it would be like to be with a bigfoot lady in the sack (or the cave).
I wonder how many people do her and when they're done they say, "I've got to come clean. I only had sex with you because I'm a major Bigfoot fan."
Actually, I wonder how many people have done that and lived to ask the question. You know, because the mini Bigfoot lady probably killed them and all.
*For safety purposes I'm not going to tell you which Wawa it was. And I also don't want the press hanging out waiting for Sassy. C'mon, give the poor lady a break.
You'd better hope mini Sasquatch doesn't read your blog - she'll squish you like a bug.
ReplyDeleteI would have thought you were a breast man, and now I find you actually have a foot fetish...a hairy foot at that.
ReplyDeleteThis post is so incredibly wrong and yet so incredibly right! Thanks for the giggle.
ReplyDeletejadedj wonder about being a breast man, check out the gigantits on that classic image of bigfoot.
ReplyDeleteAlan
I'm not big enough to please a small women, let alone a Sasquatch.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
ReplyDeleteBigfoot exists.
I know it's a little lame, but that's as funny as it gets today.
God, I miss Wawa. And my hoagie. Salami and provolone with lettuce, onions, hot peppers, salt, pepper, oregano, and "a little bit of oil".
ReplyDeleteOr, how many people have done her and then roared like Chewbacca upon completion of coitus?
ReplyDeleteMJenks - "Coitus". Good one.
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahhahaha because I'm a major Bigfoot Fan! That's funny.
ReplyDeleteSweet peppers???? No jalapeno's on the salad huh?
- Jennifer
You're right, I don't believe it.
ReplyDeleteBut I want that sandwich.
I didn't believe this post at first, thought it was another poop story...and it doesn't really matter cause you made me lol...again!
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell does "gooney-goo-goo" mean, Gus?
ReplyDeleteIt means you cahved teh bitch down and taught her how to speak.
ReplyDeleteThe 'old elevator eyes'! LMAO!!
ReplyDeleteI can sooo see this is my mind!
Sex with Sasquatch .. An Anthropological Study.
ReplyDeleteIf you have not seen The Bloggess' posts on Sasquatch sightings, you must.
http://thebloggess.com/?p=541
I've only seen a Sasquatch 20 or so times, usually buying cheap beer by the case, in Northern Michigan...
ReplyDeleteEvil Genius - love that Eddie Murphy bit!
ReplyDeletePHD - I'm checking that out.
MJenks- I almost wet myself I laughed so hard!
ReplyDeleteDr. have you seen "Pick of Destiny"- the best role Sassqwatch ever HAD!
My friend is a little person, and I have always wanted to ask him if chicks have slept with him just to do a little person...I am going to HAppy Hour with him today, after 3 drinks I'm just gonna straight up ask him! I'll keep you informed!
Thanks for throwing WaWa in my face.
ReplyDeleteSome of us do not have them in our towns....
I need to call Dick Wood.
peace
#2
forget the sasquatch - i want what you were having for lunch!
ReplyDeleteFor a minute I thought it could be my boyfriends wife, Barbara. But then I noticed you said "mini".
ReplyDeleteHe lived to tell. He says positions are limited. Death via suffocation comes into play.
Happy Valentines Day. :D
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