So I just got invited to a pool party by long time reader Philly number one. I need to look at my busy, important schedule but if I do go, I'd like to be introduced with this song by the Allman Brothers. The Statesboro Blues.
It might get expensive for them because it's a really long song so I'll be walking down blocks and blocks to get to their pool. So the sound system will have to be set up along my route. Then, when I finally arrive I'll slowly walk to the top of the high dive that they'll have to install per my contract and I'll do a splash into the pool on the last note.
Go ahead. Find a private spot in your home, close your eyes and imagine that you're there. Are you imagining that it's a swim club and when I got out of the pool you warmed me with a towel over my shoulders then we went to the snack bar and got hotdogs, nachos and two cokes? Don't lie. That's what you're dreaming about.
Now snap out of it and go get your chores done.
When I imagine you getting out of the sista's pool, I am reminded of the scene from Fast Times At Ridgemont High. You know the one, where Phoebe Cates dives in the pool and comes out and takes off her top.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, instead of Judge Reinhold sitting on the crapper jerking off, it will be me standing in the shower with my super duper dildo.
peace
#2
Sista #2 - I've already asked my staff to plant video cameras in the bathrooms.
ReplyDeleteSo, I was listening and having this lovely visual of you walking down the sidewalk (I don't know what you look like, so I imagined you to look like Greg Allman), first taking off the cowboy hat, then the shirt, then kicking off your boots, unzipping the jeans, and then out of nowhere comes Cher! WTF? B*tch slapped me to my senses before I could finish the fantasy. D*mn, I forgot they used to be married, I should have imagined you to look like someone else. sigh.
ReplyDeletePool party? Isn't it still like 50 there?
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like hazing to me.
I'd like to be introduced with Taps.
ReplyDeleteI just gotta thing about bugles.
Pearl
Zibbsy, I would invite you to my pool, but the water is only 4 feet deep. I would only recommend a dive in a drunken stupor, which, ironically I did last year. My spine took several weeks to heal after smacking the bottom of the pool with a force that I do not wish to remember.
ReplyDeleteLove this!
ReplyDeleteBTW - I can't find you on Facebook, dangit! What's your handle, man?
:^) Anna
Zibbs, we pee outside in the summer
ReplyDeleteDiane - most of MY fantasy's are ruined by Sonny.
ReplyDeleteAnna - my handle is Dr Zibbs or Jim Zibbs. Hope to see you on facebook.
Wow... does your blue face paint come off when you swim?
ReplyDeleteJust sayin'.
okay, but I am NOT putting on a bathing suit.
ReplyDeleteI'm totally imagining it ...
ReplyDeletenice speedos!
I dunno if Statesboro Blues (especially the live version) would be the right choice for your intro walk...I'm thinking more along the lines of Foghat's Slow Ride.
ReplyDeleteAnd it definitely has to be a swan dive into the pool.
As for the chores. I'm taking the day off...so I'll have all day to conjure up my own fantasy!
Peggy - I actually did a post ages ago where I wrote about entering a party to Slow Ride. Great call.
ReplyDeleteYou could probably find it with a Google search.
I just thought of another one that might be really good...Kenny Rogers/Sheena Easton duet, We've Got Tonight. THAT would be great too!
ReplyDeleteBut then you would have to cannonball into the pool...
ReplyDeleteI heard the notes in my head before I ever hit the play button. But I also had my own vision of you, that this blog could not ever have seen coming... God, you are hot!
ReplyDelete