Now I don't want to get everyone excited, but if I can change some things on my busy schedule, I'm going to be ...are you ready for this?......bringing 20 That Blue Yak readers on the trip to the Galapagos Islands that Alex Trebek from Jeopardy has been hawking all week!
And I'll be paying for everything. It's my way of saying thank you. But I will only take 20 of you. I'm thinking the first part of the trip we can really do some site seeing, check out some of Darwin's legacy and party our asses off but the second part of the trip will be strictly used for bothering Trebek.
We'll still be partying but we really need to focus on putting Trebek over the edge.
What can you add to the trip? Why should you be picked? Let me know in the comments section. I will pick 20 readers. The others will be allowed to meet us at the port but no amount of tears is going to change my mind and let you go on this historic, life altering trip that I'm sure will make it on Entertainment Tonight and all those other crappy shows. So you need to make sure you're OK watching us sail away while you go back to your boring - non Trebek harassing lives.
You will only have the memory of waving at me and the winners from a port in San Diego as we sail away.
But good luck anyway.
Bug spray & beer.
ReplyDeleteWhat more do you need?
peace
#2
I will bring the smores.
ReplyDeleteThat's easy. Banana's for the Iguana's and beer! Hmmm, I see a theme forming. BEER!! *Tink*
ReplyDeleteHappy Tuesday!
- Jennifer
I prefer to be naked and I can fart at will. (Farting would definitely annoy Trebek. It could be the official noise of getting a question wrong.)
ReplyDeleteI will act like your own personal groupie, sort of like Penny Lane in Almost Famous.
ReplyDeleteThat should annoy Trebek immensely.
I will allow you to run with me. You can actually run behind me and let me lead because I'm good that way!! I will also allow you to use my iPod!
ReplyDeleteI will seek Trebek out and trip him many times. Perhaps fart in his direction as well!!!
WOO!!!
Pick me.
ReplyDeleteI will bring my Ninja Turtle costume and come running out of the woods screaming:
"I CAN WALK!!! I CAN WALK!!"
...during campfire time.
I'll take "Alex Trebek shitting his pants" for $200.
Zibbs, I believe I have been very outspoken about my disdain for Senor Trebek. I will bring every annoying tendency in my arsenal. I will relentlessly hound his ass the entire duration of the trip. I will make his life a living hell. I will come armed with Gatorade tubs filled with a toxic concoction of rotten urine and turkey giblets. Then, each morning I will pretend that bastard has just coached the winning Super Bowl team.
ReplyDeleteI'll work on some other plans.
I will
if you take me, i'll get Earl to give you a handjob..
ReplyDeleteI've got kick ass Twister Skillz! I'll challenge Trebek to a game. He's like 168 or something, right? Yeah. He will likely get a hernia or wet his pants or something - it will be freaking GREAT (well, for US anyway.)
ReplyDeleteI also have that HOT bra you were admiring on my blog the other day, remember? I'm willing to bring that too. ;-)
I will bring a case of those little frogs that make you trip when you lick them.
ReplyDeleteI hope G.I. is on the top of your list, as she has promised you a snog, and the rest of us will have no place to pop in the porn DVD's.
You might as well invite Red, because if you are leaving from San Diego and there is a shirtless Trebek aboard, she WILL find her way on the boat.
ReplyDeleteSuck it, Trebek.
ReplyDeleteI can bring my geekiness and my insane abundance of useless trivia?
ReplyDeleteI have been running a daily trivia game since the year 2000 and I could annoy the Canadian pants of Mr. Trebek!
Check it out: Trivia of the Day Game
I'm just annoyingly happy. That should annoy everyone!
ReplyDeleteObviously, I bring with my a guarantee of embarrassing tales, the ability to attempt to dance the Stankey Legg, and a buttload of Firefly Sweet Tea vodka. I'm in like Flynn!
ReplyDeleteIf you take Slyde, I promise not to give you a handjob.
ReplyDeleteI just want that dude as far away from me as possible.
Are you going to point out to that insufferable cocksnot that he doesn't know dick about Latin pronunciation?
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to tell you what I plan to do with Trebek... suffice it to say I'll be bringing along four rusty hammers and a Saigon whore with a bipolar disorder.
ReplyDeleteTrebek won't be bothering you any more.
That picture scares me. A lot!
ReplyDeleteI'll bring Girl Interrupted and Prunella....does that work for you ?
ReplyDelete"Excuse me, Mr. Trebek? You have something..just right there...I'll get it for you."
ReplyDeleteAt which point I whip out my trusty tweezers and pluck an eyebrow hair, mustache hair or even a nose hair.
I can pull that off 3-4 times a day.
My contribution to the Trebek vendetta would be to:
ReplyDeleteA) Put the victim in a small room with mjenks and let him ridicule his general knowledge/intelligence IN LATIN (did you see his post? he was pretty pissed) whilst the rest of us cruelly point, mock and laugh
B) Put a sticker on his back that says "Kick Me" ... because I'm childish like that
And I would bring Pru Jones and two of the skimpiest bikinis known to man
You have to take me. I'm from West Chester! (East Goshen actually, but that's close enough.)
ReplyDeleteIt touches my heart to see so many Trebek haters.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, Girl I and PJ you're in as well as Earl.
OK - you're all in.
For now.
Alex, "It's the Maxwell House slogan".
ReplyDeleteAlex, "The answer is Good to the last drop".
Sean Connery, "That's what your mother told me last night"
(SNL reference)
Will Alex be shirtless? I got a semi just looking at him.
Peace,
Phil
Phil - I love those SNL sketches. As for a semi - never heard that one but good one.
ReplyDeleteI would ask all questions to Alex in the form of a statement, just to tick him off a bit more.
ReplyDeleteI'd also draw unflattering comparisons between him and John Oates of 'Hall and Oates'.
Reasons I should be invited:
ReplyDelete1. You love me best.
2. I can be annoying as all hell when I want to be.
3. I promise to pull the stunt where I mimic everything he does and says for at least 20 minutes every day.
4. I'll bring slidewhistles and we can follow him around all day making noises at inappropriate times, like when he bends down to tie his shoe and when he takes a drink through a straw and when he is trying to hit on somebody.
5. I am not above breaking into his room and putting dye in his shampoo, itching powder in his lotion, and crackers in his bed.
6. You and I would have a ton of fun together.
7. mjenks MUST be on the list. His hatred of The 'Bek runs deep and wide and I'm pretty sure that I could coach him (jenks) to a whole new level of irritating.
Pick me!
I would bring along my pet Galapagos Tortoise in hopes I could reunite him with his family, making for a heart warming after school special.
ReplyDeleteWho can pass that shit up?
Gwen - you know that how close the slide whistle is to my heart. Thanks for remembering.
ReplyDeleteSkylers Dad - Very Noble. Were you more creative naming him than the name I had for my turtle? Mrytle.
A 4 pound bag of dope...that'll get us at least half way there.
ReplyDelete*laughing at Gwen and the slidewhistles!!*
ReplyDeleteI would arrange it so he could not get any food or service from the crew unless he began each of his requests with "what is". Now that I have seen what you are all capable of, I hope to never make enemies with any of you.
ReplyDeleteCameron - that's a given.
ReplyDeleteYou know you must be doing something right when two separate people bring your name up on a list of top Trebeck-haters.
ReplyDeleteYou people honor me.
I'll bring the book with all the answers. We can share the winnings!
ReplyDeleteLynnette Labelle
http://lynnettelabelle.blogspot.com
I will bring along, and show nightly, the porn video he starred in.
ReplyDeleteLynnette - welcome to That Blue Yak. Treat yourself to some mints.
ReplyDeleteIt's a cruise right?
ReplyDeleteHow about a "Trebek" flaming burial at sea sacrificial ritual?
I'll bring the muskets!
I will steal a lawn gnome from my neighbors front yard before we go so we can snap pictures of him doing various touristy things like hanging out by the pool and hunting rhino. Then we'll send the pictures to the owners with a cheery "Having a wonderful time, Love Bilbo" scrawled at the bottom.
ReplyDeleteNow wouldn't that be fun? I saw it on a Travelocity commercial
Or maybe I'll just give you a lap dance. Whichever you'd prefer.
ReplyDeleteI'll bring that cute little baby pig Kingsford and finger condoms for all.
ReplyDeleteXOXO,
H
I would think we could easily drive Alex over the threshold to insanity. We could sneak into his room when he is gone and let him accidentaly walk in on us doing the nasty. On his bed. His suitcase. Over his toothbrush on the sink area. You wearing his tux for your own special appearance. I would think after walking in on us a good five times a day. Day after day (assuming you can keep up) would send him over the deep end. Best not tell Mrs. Yak about this plan.
ReplyDeleteNow if you do bring the Blonde Goddess. Be sure to bring some veggies.
As a fellow Canadian, I will be in the enviable position of being able to call him all sorts of hateful things without being called rascist or anything.
ReplyDeletePlus I'm really good at drinking beer, wine, tequila, gin and assorted other alcohols. I never ever puke on anyone else and always put myself to bed.
I get very affectionate when I've had a few so that could be a pro or con depending...
I am a very happy drunk.
I don't eat when I'm drunk. But I will cook or make sandwiches if someone else wants food.
I'm sitting next to Cameron.
ReplyDeletepeace
#2
Mr. Trebek seems so tender in this photo you've posted. I'm distracted, I'll admit it.
ReplyDeleteBring me because I've actually read Origin of the Species and I still have my colleges notes inside it. Also I will bring a small moustache comb and groom the soft-skinned Trebek for you so he's out of your way.
I'll bring a bottle of red wine, a bottle of scotch, a black thong, and feathers.
ReplyDeleteSomehow in that combination, we could piss off Trebek...and have some fun.
Would love to join you but I'm double booked messing up Ryan Seacrest real bad with a nailgun.
ReplyDeleteHave fun you crazy kids!
I would be the perfect straightman for your ploy (I teach ninth grade English - what bigger buzz kill could there be?). I could engage Alex in quiet literary or philosophical discussions while you and prunella or girl interrupted (or both) get busy in his line of sight.
ReplyDeleteThe combination will make his head explode.
If you bring me, I'll keep bringing up the fact that Cliff Claven had the right answer in final jepordy, "Who are three people who were never in my kitchen" One of the funniest lines from Cheers ever!
ReplyDeleteOh and we can prove the whole survival of the fitest thing by flipping giant tortoses on their backs, see who's big now?
Sorry, I love Trebek. But, I will bone him which will lead to another heart attack from which he will not survive.
ReplyDeleteEh eh? That oughta make you haters happy.
But that's me. Anything for you, Zibbs.
Am I the only one concerned that you have a nekked pic of Alex?
ReplyDeleteTish - you're so giving.
ReplyDeleteAlex looks like a date rapist here.
ReplyDeletei just laughed for a solid 2 minutes of seeing that picture of alex without a shirt on.
ReplyDeletelove it.
Yea, I also like trebek, especially when he is on SNL impersonating himself. I couldn't let you annoy him. If I wasn't in Africa, I would go and block you from harrassing him!
ReplyDeleteWow, with all the ingenious giving going on here, as much as I would love a trip to an island, any island, I'm a little scared of your followers. I think I'm just going to say I love you, good night. (thank goodness I am not that Alec
ReplyDeleteTribec guy!)
Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that photo is at least 20 years old. Only the tortoises in the Galapagos still look the same as they did 20 years ago.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the comments people. I read some of them.
ReplyDeleteJust kidding. I read them all.
ReplyDelete