West Chester Blogger Yells Out Window on Market Street. Henderson High School.
How embarrassing. As a back story, there was this goofy dude and my dad asked him what high school he went to. In a really loud, slow, goofy ass way of talking - he said proudly, "HENDERSON HIGH SCHOOL". You have to understand that it was super goofy.
Part 2: So my friend Sean loves this accent so when I answer the phone when it's him I just yell, "HENDERSON HIGH SCHOOL" in that same goofy ass way.
Part 3: So I'm driving down Market Street in West Chester the other day and I see my friend Sean. My window's down so I lean my head out, point to him and yell, "HENDER......."
Oh shit! It's not Sean. I stopped in mid sentence, and turned the other way so the dude couldn't identify me.
How embarrassing. I was going to kill him but decided to let him live.
It's very similar what happened to me when I was about eight. I was in church and after mass, I saw my sister. I snuck up behind her, leaned into her ear and garbled nonsense. Something like, "ruprthgrogorakldslkrfal" - just complete nonsense in a stupid, fast motion way of talking.
Then, she turned around - almost in slow motion....and it wasn't her. It was some other chick. I was so horrified I almost fainted. The chick had the expression of, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT KID??"
(Looking to our powerful Lord above as he falls to his knees) WHY do I do this Jesus? WHY have you picked me for these situations. Please give me guidance!
36 comments:
I may I add that I had to see this chick in church every week for the rest of my chidlhood.
Tell me one thing. Why are you NOT following me on Twitter?
They name street signs after you. One Way.
:P
I once goosed a guy in the Wawa thinking it was my husband.. but it wasn't. He was across the store, laughing his ass off at me.
I'm glad I ain't the only one doing this. A couple weeks ago my wife walks thru talking on the phone and I heard her say "Amanda" our daughters name and I said to her "Hey I just left her a voice mail, let me talk to her" Sal hands me the phone and I go into the "slow kid routine" that I do with my daughter. And I go on and on and on and on and on... and pretty soon my wife's buddy "Amanda" says to me "Are you alright?"
Yeah... I've rode that bus.
Weird....I figured you just 'sensed' everybody's presence.
I once pinched some woman's ass because I thought she was a friend of mine.
She wasn't impressed.
Oh yeah...I flashed a guy I thought was my husband.
He wasn't.
He seemed to be impressed though.
You'll remember those things forever too. I feel a little nauseous just remembering all the horribly embarrassing things I've done.
One time I thought I was dropping a cup of water on my best friend in the bathroom at a bar. Turns out it was super mean looking biker lady who literally threatened to kick my ass until I cowered in fear and started to cry.
I was cycling down Market Street and some idiot yelled out a car window, I very nearly crashed and ruined my hair. And it was you?!
Rubbing butts is the new handshake.
Spread the word!
The great thing about menopause is that it leaves you with only half a memory, so I can't remember ever doing the mistaken identity thing.
(sorry, that's all I got)
Saratogajean - glad you're back.
I once screwed my friend's girlfriend in college.
Oh.
I thought we were confessing shit.
Please use this voice when I call, I want to hear it.
I do super embarrassing shit like this all the time. So much so that I can't even think of an example.
i once helped an old lady get something from the top shelf at a grocery store. but that's probably not the same thing.
No Jeremy - it's exactly the same thing.
I think.
A few years ago on vacation on Green turtle Cay with two toher couples, we were walking along and I was next to a man named Hank. In front of us was my husband and Hank's wife. Hank's wife reached out and took my husband's hand. He looked at her and let it contunue for about 5 seconds as they continued walking. Then Hank's wife realized her error. We all died laughing for about an hour. So that's how we swapped while on vacation. Wait, I got sidetracked.
mooooooooo35 had me roflmao!!!
Why do you do this? It must be the work of Satan himself!
Dear Lord, please deliver our brother, Dr. Zibbs from these awful sinning demons. Cast them out, cast them out I say!
Babblelikshdibubblebuttscoobydoobeydoo!
Amen
Guilty. I went up behind some guy and gave him a reach around thinking it was my boyfriend. Wasn't.
My car broke down so I called my brother to come pick me up. He's waiting at a red light (to make a U-turn), while I'm sitting on a bus bench. He yells out the car window, "Hey baby! How much?"
No mistaken identity here, my brother is just an asshole.
I was at a bar once - our favourite bar - and I swore the bartender was looking right at me and was flashing all these signs at me. I thought she was kidding around - we were regulars - and started flashing nonsense signs back until she looked at me full of fury. I turned around, her deaf sister was signing to her.
Ha ha ha! When I was married, my husband had kinda long hair - it was slightly below his shoulders and kinda flipped out at the ends like Mary Tyler Moore's hair. (snicker.) He was mistaken for a woman from behind many a time.
But those were probably the good old days to him - 'cuz now he's bald.
*thrusting fist victoriously into the air* YES!!!!
I grabbed the ass of a women I thought was my wife in Pennys. She was bent over a table looking at clothes, wheeled around and I really thought was going to hit me. She could tell be the look on my face and pale white, almost passing out face that I made a mistake, and let me off the hook.
I had a very best friend in high school. Her mother just happened to hate my guts (something about me being a bad influence). I mean HATED me. This friend wasn't supposed to be hanging out with me.
We went to a party one night and the friend had to leave to make curfew. She said she'd go home, make it obvious that she'd come in, then sneak back out to the party later.
So, an hour or two later, when she hadn't returned, I got the brilliant idea to break her out of there. I walked to her house and I opened the sliding glass door ever so carefully and tiptoed past the living room, where her mother was known to sleep on the couch. I crept up the stairs and into my friends room... I thought it would be hysterical to climb into bed with her and kind of tickle her and snuggle her, so I did.
You know what's coming, don't you?
Of course, her mother rolled over and we both had a moment of shock and horror.
It was very Jack Tripper/Mr Furley - esque.
These are some of the best comments I've ever read.
My life is one big embarrassment after the other. I accepted it years ago and now I am the first one to pee my pants when I do something stupid like you described.
peace
#2
I alllllmost did this in a work meeting this morning. I thought the guy in front of me was a good friend. Turned out to be our new CEO. Glad I didn't rub his bald head. Whew.
Your commentors are the best...I think you ought to have a big party for all of us...that would be fun (and probably really embarrassing).
And this is what I would do to the Good Dr. Zibbs at the party...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8815587647189809806&hl=en
Peggy - you're invited.
You'd be invited anyway but that's a bonus.
i once started tickling a guy who i was SURE was earl.... he has his hat pulled down over his face...
it wasnt earl...
It could be worse. You could've slapped her on the ass.
Sister or no, duuude, you thought it was your sister...
It's obvious. He gives you situations such as these so you can blog about them and entertain your massive throng of followers.
Jesus loves you Yakky.
You should have killed him. That's going to haunt you.
i love this whole thing. i want to go out with post tonight for a beer.
My Litte Becky - you name the place.
As long as I don't have to drive more than 10 miles.
I'm lazy like that.
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