In the style of "...this one time in band camp...." (from the movie American Pie) -here's my version but the travel edition. Part 1.
...this one time in Long Beach, California...we were at a club and this lesbian bit my friend's finger because she wouldn't dance.
...this one time in Frankfurt, Germany..... while bags were being unloaded at hotel I saw a woman's pastel colored polka dot suitcase and I said, "I think your luggage got mixed up with Jan Brady's". Turns out the the woman was an upper level management person from corporate that I'd never met. Nice first impression.
....this one time in Philly.... I hooked up with a Phillies ball girl.
....this one time in Virginia Beach, Virginia..... I went down this huge water slide and it instantly gave me an enema. I had to run to a bathroom.
....This one time in Connecticut...I was telling this funny story to colleagues and accidentally walked them onto the train going North instead of South., They almost missed their flight back to England.
.....This one time in Malvern, PA..... after having sex with some girl in her parents bed I threw the condom under the bed. What?...I couldn't find the trashcan..... And I was really drunk.
....This one time in Detroit, Michigan.... I saved a kid's life by pulling him out of a burning car. I left the scene because I didn't want to be in the newspaper.
Well, that last one's a lie. I was just trying to redeem myself for the second to the last one.
What happened to YOU one time?
In the style of American Pie:
ReplyDeleteThis one time at band camp, I shoved the Phillie Fantatic up my ass.
This one time, in Canada, I started 'the wave' around a strip club stage.
ReplyDeleteThis one time in Ocean City, I pretended I was deaf and got this girl to come back to my hotel with me.
ReplyDeleteSon of a Thomas - did this then happen:
ReplyDeleteSOAT: I've got a confession. I can hear.
Girl: I've got a confession too. (pulls off wig) - I'm a dude.
This one time I was trying on a tight fitted dress and ..oh nevermind!
ReplyDelete- Jennifer
This one time, at a grtaduation ceremony, I was jumped by Secret Service and FBI agents there to protect President Reagan...
ReplyDeleteTrue story.
Tony A - you need to write a post about that.
ReplyDeleteThis one time in Waco, I shot a man just to watch him die.
ReplyDeleteI had a water slide incident as well. Didn't give me an accidental enema, but boy did my nuts hurt.
ReplyDeleteThis one time...I thought a potted plant was a toilet and tried to pee in it.
ReplyDeletethis one time in my bedroom I was just about to get my groove on when.......oh forget about it...I cant say it here!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis one time, on the internet, I enjoyed this post by a West Chester blogger!
ReplyDeleteTrue story, I swear!
This one time, in Pennsylvania, I was 15 and hanging out with some 24 year old guy who nearly killed us after driving drunk, hitting 5 parked cars and narrowly missing going off a cliff.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the same city in Pennsylvania, I got out of being molested by some fat creepy guy by playing hopelessly retarded. The guy thought he hypnotized me. For realz.
I could go on and on with these stories!
but I won't.
You're welcome.
:)
Sybil Law - what the hell? You need to write a post about that creep dude incident.
ReplyDeleteSkylersDad's comment is scaring me.
ReplyDeleteThis one time, at a biker bar, some dude told my husband that he felt an electric charge throughout his entire body after shaking my hand. Er...yeah.
One time I laughed out loud at a blogger's water slide/enema story.
ReplyDeleteThis one time, I was driving Boy Scouts to the zoo and our car got rear ended by a nun who was distracted by a motorcycle club going the opposite way on the Schuylkill.
ReplyDeleteThis one time in a swimming pool as I kicked off the wall backwards I lost the top of my bathing suit in front of a crowd.
ReplyDeleteThis one time in England I sat on a chair on a hill in an outdoor pub and fell over backwards and went tumbling down the hill with my skirt up over my head in front of a crowd.
Damn I'm freaking graceful!!
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ReplyDeleteThis one time, in Cuba, I lost my friend who was the only one of the 11 of us that was married.
ReplyDeleteI didn't find her until she showed up at the hotel the next morning, disoriented and refusing to pay her cab driver.
This one time I got up the nerve to jump off a cliff into the watering hole 20 something feet below and when I stood up I didn't know my strapless bikini top had broken when I hit the water. I flashed all my high school friends!
ReplyDeleteHa-ha, Cora, I didn't read your comment till after. Now I know why we like each other so much, we're both complete clutzes.
ReplyDeleteone time I left an old guy for dead in the woods when I was a kid. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteOne time, in Minneapolis, I goosed a local team's baseball player and had to goose everyone else on the team so they wouldn't feel left out. I never had so many drinks bought for me before...or since.
ReplyDeleteI think you all need to write posts about some of these things.
ReplyDeletethis one time on the internet I was surfing around and thought I better visit zibbs blog, and here I am... and something else about a flute...
ReplyDeleteThis one time in Long Beach, I bit a girl's finger because she wouldn't dance with me.
ReplyDeletePlus, she pointed and laughed.
This one time, in Erie, Pennsylvania...
ReplyDeleteI wondered what the hell I was doing there.
No, really. It was for the birds.
This one time, my friend and me were in a Toys R Us store and she got an epileptic fit.
ReplyDeleteI stayed cool, phoned her hubby whilst holding onto her and she was touching my boobs for 10 minutes whilst recovering from the fit ; we looked like lesbians...
THanks....I was grounded for like a year after my dad found that condom.
ReplyDeletepeace
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ReplyDelete