You're Not Going to Believe What I Wrote on June 22nd!
Here are some more Tweets that I wrote that crack me up. Which is your favorite? Enjoy your laughter because the last one is going to freak you the hell out.
CNN reporting that Billy Mays requested all people attending his funeral speak through bullhorns.Naaa.I just made that up
short dude walking down street looks like part regular person and part midgit. i shall call him a ridgit
Guess how many amusement park rides Karl Malden had in is front yard? Zero! I shit you not! AND he never owned a chimp. EVER!!
I hereby challenge Lil' Wayne to spell the word "retarded". If he can't spell it, my case will be closed
someone..once and for all...needs to do a scientific classification of skanks. if anything..it would make a great poster.
wonder if there's a guy named cornhole Carl? but he goes by Cc....until you get to know him...
tip for foreigners. don't say your lady lips look like lips of Jimmy Carter but this much classier.
a plastic glove just floated in front of my car. that has to be a sign.
HOLY SHIT! Look at that last one! I wrote that on June 22nd!! 3 days before Michael Jackson died. Don't believe me? Go check my Tweets. Holy crap, I'm getting the chills. Maybe I'm like Nostradamus!
24 comments:
WARNING: IF YOU JUST WALKED INTO THE ROOM AND YOUR FRIEND IS SLUMPED OVER THE COMPUTER HE/SHE IS NOT DEAD.
THEY JUST READ SOMETHING REALLY FREAKY ON MY BLOG. PLEASE REVIVE YOUR FRIEND BEFORE READING THE BLOG POST SO YOU DON'T FAINT.
(and also, tell your friends to google this: THAT BLUE YAK)
See plastic glove to me screams drug test not Michael Jackson...
Ok ok that's freaky!
And Shelle - it floated really slowly in front of my car and almost into my window. It was like the bag that floated on the movie American Beauty.
I swear.
I wonder what other signs I'm being given but haven't picked up on?
Attention everyone. As I'm very modest, if anyone wants to call the press and tell them that I saw the future I'm fine with that. Just pretend that I didn't mention it to you.
For the person that gets me the first NETWORK TV interview I will consider signing a THAT BLUE YAK mug if you pay for the shipping.
Thank you.
Fucking eerie, dude.
You are giving me the chills! It's just too freaky.
Debbie - how much freakier would it have been if I wrote that maybe Michael Jackson was going to die because it's what went through my head when I saw it.
Are you sure it wasn't a used condom that you saw? They can look very similar to plastic gloves if you squint.
That's creepy I know...I said to someone a few years ago during a dinner party about a woman sittin' next to him that 'if she would fall down her chair and drop dead' he didn't have to wonder why. The guy ofcourse looked at me in horror and said that i was creepy.
...
6 days later the message came she had died of a cardiac arrest in her sauna...
...
So, if I ever look at you and say you're looking like crap, be prepared !!
(this last sentence should be accompanied with the laughter of Michael Jackson's song Thriller)
That is pretty weird. Some of the other tweets made me laugh too. Thanks for that.
somebody has probably classified "skanks" as u called them or similar. lol
You should totally set up a psychic hotline.
Holy shit...I think you're right about the stuff floating in front of you being a harbinger of death.
A banner saying 'your sex life' floated in front of my car three days before I got married.
Creepy.
Prunella - how could I confuse a plastic glove for a condom? That would mean the guy had to have five dicks? And that's probably pretty rare.
...ohhhhh. If I SQUINTED. Now I get it.
Oh, you're telepathic, so it really doesn't matter that you can't access my page. (I'm contacting blogspot about that, btw)
I'd like to be the one to do the skank poster, I bet I could make it really sexy.
Diane - please use the grid layout for the poster.
zibbsy, I contacted blogspot and they said moving my followers list lower on the sidebar should resolve the problem. Hopefully, you can access my page now. Please let me know.
What's a grid?
So let me get this straight. You killed Michael Jackson? Alright, just stay right there while I contact the police blog.
If an empty vodka bottle comes crashing through your window while driving down the road - DON'T BE ALARMED.
Well, if a empty can of Busch light ever floats in front of your car, please notify me IMMEDIATELY.
Thanks for warning me about Twitter... I only have X amount of air left to breathe, and I could have wasted some!
Buffalodick - if it's the last thing I do I'm gonna get you on Twitter.
Doc- When you are on your deathbed- E-mail me... It will indeed be the last thing you do!
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