Thursday, July 2, 2009

You're Not Going to Believe What I Wrote on June 22nd!



Here are some more Tweets that I wrote that crack me up. Which is your favorite? Enjoy your laughter because the last one is going to freak you the hell out.

CNN reporting that Billy Mays requested all people attending his funeral speak through bullhorns.Naaa.I just made that up

short dude walking down street looks like part regular person and part midgit. i shall call him a ridgit

Guess how many amusement park rides Karl Malden had in is front yard? Zero! I shit you not! AND he never owned a chimp. EVER!!

I hereby challenge Lil' Wayne to spell the word "retarded". If he can't spell it, my case will be closed

someone..once and for all...needs to do a scientific classification of skanks. if anything..it would make a great poster.

wonder if there's a guy named cornhole Carl? but he goes by Cc....until you get to know him...

tip for foreigners. don't say your lady lips look like lips of Jimmy Carter but this much classier.

a plastic glove just floated in front of my car. that has to be a sign.

HOLY SHIT! Look at that last one! I wrote that on June 22nd!! 3 days before Michael Jackson died. Don't believe me? Go check my Tweets. Holy crap, I'm getting the chills. Maybe I'm like Nostradamus!
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24 comments:

  1. Dr ZibbsJuly 2, 2009 at 3:37:00 PM EDT

    WARNING: IF YOU JUST WALKED INTO THE ROOM AND YOUR FRIEND IS SLUMPED OVER THE COMPUTER HE/SHE IS NOT DEAD.

    THEY JUST READ SOMETHING REALLY FREAKY ON MY BLOG. PLEASE REVIVE YOUR FRIEND BEFORE READING THE BLOG POST SO YOU DON'T FAINT.

    (and also, tell your friends to google this: THAT BLUE YAK)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shelle-BlokThoughtsJuly 2, 2009 at 3:58:00 PM EDT

    See plastic glove to me screams drug test not Michael Jackson...

    Ok ok that's freaky!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dr ZibbsJuly 2, 2009 at 4:01:00 PM EDT

    And Shelle - it floated really slowly in front of my car and almost into my window. It was like the bag that floated on the movie American Beauty.

    I swear.

    I wonder what other signs I'm being given but haven't picked up on?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dr ZibbsJuly 2, 2009 at 4:05:00 PM EDT

    Attention everyone. As I'm very modest, if anyone wants to call the press and tell them that I saw the future I'm fine with that. Just pretend that I didn't mention it to you.

    For the person that gets me the first NETWORK TV interview I will consider signing a THAT BLUE YAK mug if you pay for the shipping.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. sybil lawJuly 2, 2009 at 9:23:00 PM EDT

    Fucking eerie, dude.

    ReplyDelete
  6. DebbieJuly 2, 2009 at 9:42:00 PM EDT

    You are giving me the chills! It's just too freaky.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dr ZibbsJuly 2, 2009 at 10:02:00 PM EDT

    Debbie - how much freakier would it have been if I wrote that maybe Michael Jackson was going to die because it's what went through my head when I saw it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Prunella JonesJuly 3, 2009 at 2:06:00 AM EDT

    Are you sure it wasn't a used condom that you saw? They can look very similar to plastic gloves if you squint.

    ReplyDelete
  9. DominicaJuly 3, 2009 at 2:54:00 AM EDT

    That's creepy I know...I said to someone a few years ago during a dinner party about a woman sittin' next to him that 'if she would fall down her chair and drop dead' he didn't have to wonder why. The guy ofcourse looked at me in horror and said that i was creepy.
    ...
    6 days later the message came she had died of a cardiac arrest in her sauna...
    ...
    So, if I ever look at you and say you're looking like crap, be prepared !!
    (this last sentence should be accompanied with the laughter of Michael Jackson's song Thriller)

    ReplyDelete
  10. UnknownJuly 3, 2009 at 3:56:00 AM EDT

    That is pretty weird. Some of the other tweets made me laugh too. Thanks for that.

    ReplyDelete
  11. BombchellJuly 3, 2009 at 6:25:00 AM EDT

    somebody has probably classified "skanks" as u called them or similar. lol

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anna RussellJuly 3, 2009 at 8:11:00 AM EDT

    You should totally set up a psychic hotline.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Moooooog35July 3, 2009 at 8:55:00 AM EDT

    Holy shit...I think you're right about the stuff floating in front of you being a harbinger of death.

    A banner saying 'your sex life' floated in front of my car three days before I got married.

    Creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Dr ZibbsJuly 3, 2009 at 8:59:00 AM EDT

    Prunella - how could I confuse a plastic glove for a condom? That would mean the guy had to have five dicks? And that's probably pretty rare.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Dr ZibbsJuly 3, 2009 at 8:59:00 AM EDT

    ...ohhhhh. If I SQUINTED. Now I get it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. dianeJuly 3, 2009 at 9:42:00 AM EDT

    Oh, you're telepathic, so it really doesn't matter that you can't access my page. (I'm contacting blogspot about that, btw)

    I'd like to be the one to do the skank poster, I bet I could make it really sexy.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dr ZibbsJuly 3, 2009 at 10:21:00 AM EDT

    Diane - please use the grid layout for the poster.

    ReplyDelete
  18. dianeJuly 3, 2009 at 11:48:00 AM EDT

    zibbsy, I contacted blogspot and they said moving my followers list lower on the sidebar should resolve the problem. Hopefully, you can access my page now. Please let me know.

    What's a grid?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Son of a ThomasJuly 3, 2009 at 12:54:00 PM EDT

    So let me get this straight. You killed Michael Jackson? Alright, just stay right there while I contact the police blog.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Vodka MomJuly 3, 2009 at 2:48:00 PM EDT

    If an empty vodka bottle comes crashing through your window while driving down the road - DON'T BE ALARMED.

    ReplyDelete
  21. HeffJuly 3, 2009 at 4:24:00 PM EDT

    Well, if a empty can of Busch light ever floats in front of your car, please notify me IMMEDIATELY.

    ReplyDelete
  22. buffalodickJuly 3, 2009 at 5:03:00 PM EDT

    Thanks for warning me about Twitter... I only have X amount of air left to breathe, and I could have wasted some!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dr ZibbsJuly 3, 2009 at 11:06:00 PM EDT

    Buffalodick - if it's the last thing I do I'm gonna get you on Twitter.

    ReplyDelete
  24. buffalodickJuly 5, 2009 at 4:05:00 PM EDT

    Doc- When you are on your deathbed- E-mail me... It will indeed be the last thing you do!

    ReplyDelete