Father Kelly. I Wonder Who That Is? Twitter.

Shhh. I've got a confession. In addition to being @DrZibbs on Twitter, I'm also a character called @FatherKelly. My profile says, "Disgruntled Catholic Priest. Seemed like a wise career choice at the time".

In three days I already have over 200 followers. Sweet. I'm trying to only tweet once or twice a day with my "A" material. Here's the feed so far:

They say you can't throw a stick around priests w/out hitting a gay. So I throw a stick and I hit Father Brennan right in the nuts. Irony.

So I'm sorting through the collection basket booty and I found..ready for this?... a hermit crab & a tooth! WTF!

My vampire fighting class starts in 15 minutes. Love the class but the instructor is a SUCH a know-it-all dick!

BOY:What's Leviticus? ME:It was an ancient tool for cutting off the nuts of sinners. BOY Really? ME:Naaa I'm just fuckin' with ya.

Sometimes in the confessional box I'll say, "You did what?! I don't believe you. Bring pictures to prove it". Some of them actually do.

So today at the exorcism the dumbass holding down the kids' legs turns and says, "Wow. This is just like The Exorcist" I.SHIT.YOU.NOT.

I've got to hand it to our parish though. After we perform an exorcism we give them a "The Devil Made Me Do It" T-shirt. No charge!

I have to perform a God damn exorcism today. I'm gonna throw in the line "ooga booga" and see if anyone notices.

Sister Mary Catherine - Chhhh Uhhhh! ..Damn it you got it goin' on! I mean...God Bless.

Just got a call requesting that I bless a parakeet. I'm not making this up. I told them a 5th of scotch was usual payment. They bought it.

Note to self: Suggest replacing the communion bells with a blow horn.

Time to make the communion wafers.