I didn't want to alarm everyone but I was in a bit of an accident yesterday.
You see, I was out of my regular razors so I had to use a crappy single blade. I don't even know how they can be on the market.
So I'm doing that weird face where you stretch your nose so you can shave right under it - you know what I'm talking about guys (and bearded ladies) - and I actually cut my NOSTRIL! Right on the side of my nostril!
There was blood everywhere. And why does it take an hour for the bleeding to stop? I was bleeding for over an hour and was even late for work. I did however pass the time by making myself a hero award.
Today however, you can barely see where I cut myself.
I was kind of embarrassed yesterday during the day because I was wondering if anyone thought that I was shaving my nose. Like I have a face that's really hair covered like an ape but I have to shave it completely everyday to hide my secret. Living in shame.
Anyways, I did survive. And that's all that counts.
The part about making the hero award is made up but I probably should make one.
ReplyDeleteJust in case.
I've had stuff like this happen too. What is it about cutting your face that turns one into a hemophiliac?
ReplyDeleteHow much blood do you think you lost? Do you feel anemic?
Have you ever tried using a styptic pencil? It's aluminum sulfate and it constricts the blood vessels. It stings like hell and leaves a white residue. They kind of work.
Chemgeek - I probably lost about 4-5 thimbles of blood (regular thimbles, not collectible thimbles)
ReplyDeleteAs for the Styptic pencil I really should get one of those.
The only thing that might bleed worse is when you accidentally trim a cat or dog's nails too short. The styptic pencil comment made me think of that.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you are okay today though. I will make you a hero award and give it to you when you finally give me my prize which I won like two years ago and still don't have.
Kristen - I didn't forget your award. And when you see it you'll treasure it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I will.
ReplyDeleteFor your hero award, think about if you want it made from bronze or 100% glitter. I know you love glitter, but that will add an extra 3 months to production time.
I think this blog entry could be used for the BET televisons made for T.V. Movie :The Jacksons
ReplyDeleteTito: Michael, what you doing.
Michael: Just shaving before the show.
(Screams and Tito runs into the bathroom, blood everywhere)
Michael: (Weeping)Tito,Tito...Where...where is my nose?
Fade to hospital, Michael in oxygen tent.
Oh what the h*ll, we should just through you a parade and give you the award then.
ReplyDeleteKristen - I'm actually a huge fan of dried macaroni art.
ReplyDeleteI think this is my favorite post. I laughed so hard.
ReplyDeleteAt you.
hahahahahaa...
That's right, how could I forget.
ReplyDeleteHow about instead of Macaroni I used Ditalini, which I'm sure you'll agree is a much more hilarious type of pasta.
I have super sensitive skin and can only use the Bic Sensitive skin single blade razors. I almost never cut myself. haha My only suggestion is to start using the single blades on your legs instead of the Venus for Women that you are using now and practice will make perfect?
ReplyDeleteAlice - noted.
ReplyDeleteWell, just thank God your weren't shaving your nether regions, eh?
ReplyDelete;-)
So I was in WC for lunch today and saw this hot guy in a suit walking his dog and then.....he spit. yuck. I knew it couldn't have been you.
ReplyDeleteCora - you said it.
ReplyDeleteCarnie - Correct. I don't spit in public. Hardly ever in private either. Plus, I don't walk my dog in town.
Women bleed for a week and survive. You bled for an hour. We can't swap war stories yet, Private.
ReplyDeleteUgh, I've done that. It sucks. Get well soon.
ReplyDeleteNice job
ReplyDeleteDon't blow your nose for a couple of days
Thank Jesus you weren't seriously injured.
ReplyDeleteI can sleep peacefully tonite.
Candy - just try to stay up a bit later in case I take a turn for the worst.
ReplyDeleteYou stopped it fast, though, right?
ReplyDeleteLand sharks will swarm to that shit.
Moooog35 - Oh so the a florist WASN'T at my bathroom door. I knew it!
ReplyDelete