Renaissance Faire?
Schmenaissance Fair!
I love festivals and fairs but the kind I don't like is a Renaissance Faire. Like the PA one that's now going on.
And it's not that I don't like the Renaissance. I do. I just don't like bad actors approaching me and talking in a terrible Old English accent and I'm supposed to play along.
It's like when a dude in a costume - like the Bee from radio station B101 wants to high-5 me. It's a dude in a bee costume. I ain't playing along you dick.
One time I was in a supermarket and I was really hungover and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and guess who it was? The fucking Bee. And he was just standing there waving at me. So I just go, "What's up?". Then turned back around. So there's been bad blood between the two of us ever since I guess.
That is all.
Oh, yeah. One more thing. Look at the dude in the picture gnawing on the turkey bone. Repulsive. And you know he's all, "Oh my King this turkey leg hath to be the most splendid tasting bird in all the land!"
Shut it!
@trinalikeswine My take on the Renaissance Faire?...Job program for mental ne'er do wells...Also, the food blows, and the crafts suck.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I am not the only curmudgeon about those stupid festivals!!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous - I know right? Crafts? Sand Art? Get the hell outta here!
ReplyDeleteSybil - You're right. STUPID!
I agree that the people, entertainment, costumes, accents, crafts and food are lame. But most of the women have 50% or more of their boobs exposed. That must do a lot for attendance.
ReplyDeleteZibbs,
ReplyDeleteI cannot agree with you more. I've tried and my agreement has maxed at 100%.
Frog. Agreed. The boob thing is the only plus.
ReplyDeleteDrop acid and went to the Renaissance fair. Made it just bearable.
ReplyDeleteNever been and have no plans to attend. Not even I am that big of a nerd.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the boob thing should really be considered such a draw. From what I've seen, mostly they are hanging out because they (and the rest of the woman's body) don't really fit in the costume all that well.
ReplyDeleteI hate these stupid festivals of the subnormals so much that I actually feel angry.
You want to see worse treatment of the turkey leg? Come to "Taste of Chicago" the week before the 4th of July and see more 300 lb women in spandex shorts and sports bras gnawing on one of those bad boys.
ReplyDeleteAt least that dude has a buxom wench serving him.
We spend Thanksgiving at my in-laws. Now that's a good example of turkey from the Renaissance.....
ReplyDeleteA pox upon ye. How can thou not partake of such a splendid feast and grand competition while surrounded by the bountiful bossom of fair maidens? Indeed Sir Zibbs you have missed the mark and should resconsider your disdain for this fine spectical lest ye be smote.
ReplyDeleteThompsonR - Well put. And welcome to my blog.
ReplyDeleteMy comment is similar to FrogCheeks.
ReplyDeleteThe same really doesn't apply to WOMEN dressed as characters.
The first time I run into a French Maid who threatens to clean my house, I'm taking her up on it !
Oh, gawwd. I would never go to a renaissance fair. Too many freaks. I'd sooner attend a week-long revival meeting sitting under a giant circus tent in Alabama somewhere, drinking chicken blood and speaking in tongues. 'HIGH GLOOORY!'
ReplyDeleteAt least at a revival, you KNOW they're really crazy...and not just acting.
" I just don't like bad actors approaching me and talking in a terrible Old English accent and I'm supposed to play along."
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Freakin hilarious! But hey, the ladies have really big, squishy boobs...doesn't that count for something?!
Tasha - Yeah. It does.
ReplyDelete