I was just telling a coworker a story that happened years ago but I had forgotten.
Our regular receptionist at work was out for a few weeks so they brought a temp in to take her place. She was an older lady. But after about a week I came in back from lunch and as I’m pulling the door open I see a really hot girl sitting at the receptionist desk. Ooh. Who is this fine specimen?
So of course I slowly take off my sunglasses and saunter by the desk. A little extra shake of the ass. I deepen my voice a bit and say, “ How you doing? You’re new here?” (Shut up. That’s all I could think of on short notice. Plus it was hot out.)
“Yeah. Well I’m just filling in. I’m not sure how many days I’ll be here.”
“OK. Well welcome to (the name of my company inserted here). I’m Dr Zibbs.”
“Well nice to meet you Dr Zibbs. I’m Cindy.”
“OK Cindy, well I’ll see you later.”
I then walk down the hall toward my desk. Thinking I’m all smooth. And as I’m walking there’s something in my peripheral vision on my right side. What is that? I reach up and there’s a black rubber oval on the side of my face – below my eye. What the F???
When I took my sunglasses off the rubber piece of my sunglasses that goes against your nose came off of the sunglasses and was stuck on my face. AND IT WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME!
I pictured this happening later, “Cindy did you see Dr Zibbs walk by here?”
“Dr Zibbs? Who is…Oh Dr Zibbs. The guy with the huge mole on the side of his nose? No I haven't seen him.”
I've been busted walking by hot receptionists having forgot to zip my fly after a trip to the bathroom, but holy crap that's funny!
ReplyDeleteEmbarassing, but I've done worse.
ReplyDeleteLike, 1995 in West Edmonton Mall, I'm out for a day of solo shopping and sightseeing. I'm 22 years old, which means I'm a grown woman, and if I want a candied apple for breakfast, damn it, that's what I'm having.
I have my "breakfast" and then proceed to spend the morning wandering around, spending money and checking out the hot guys, when I suddenly realize - all the hot guys are checking ME out! I'm hot! I'm amazing. Christ, even the WOMEN are checking me out!!
In my head, Stayin' Alive is playing at full blast, I've got my strut on, and I'm smiling and nodding at all those people who just can't keep their eyes off my gorgeousness.
Then I get on a down escalator, and come face to face with a mirror wall. And my soul dies just a little.
For the past three hours, since I finished my candied apple, I've been walking around the mall with a GIANT red stain around my mouth, from my nose to my chin, where the dye from the candied part of the candied apple must have touched.
FML.
I bet she thought it was way cute.
ReplyDelete@Rachelle- West Edmonton Mall is in Alberta. By default, there are weirder people in the mall. I used to live in Edmonton. I've witnessed. There should be a "People of West Edmonton Mall" website. It would kill People of Walmart.
Luckily, I've never done anything embarrassing, except maintain a blog.
Then there was that time that I told my cousin's new fiance that she had some dirt on her upper lip. It wasn't dirt. It was a moustache, to be clear. *high five, Self*
I was having kind of a crap day, but nothing cheers me up like embarrassing stories from people I know - thanks Z. and also thanks to the funny comments :)
ReplyDeleteKudos to Cindy for not spewing coffee outta her nose from laughing at you so hard. Oh that's right. She was pretty which means she was probably much too self absorbed to even realize she missed out on a gift wrapped opportunity to inflict some deliciously rare life-changing humiliation.
ReplyDeleteI would have been like, "Dude! You have sunglass droppings on your nose!" Then you would have been temporarily stunned, just long enough for me to snap your picture with my phone.
By the time you got to your desk, the picture would have gone viral and all your friends & family would have emailed you a copy just to make sure you saw it.
Poor Cindy. She really missed out.
In tears....as I'm sure the receptionist was....haha!
ReplyDeleteDorkalicious!
ReplyDeleteJust last weekend, I was going out for a girls night and I stopped by my friends house and we were chatting and I got hot. I took off my sweater and she said "you want me to cut this tag off?" Yep...tag on the back of my new top...thank god for friends!
Rachelle - Haha. Nice. Are you one of my Twitter followers? If so, what's your name?
ReplyDelete..and Patrick you're new too. Where are you from?
ReplyDeleteHahaha - that is awesome...
ReplyDeleteSybil - Oh yeah. It was awesome alright.
ReplyDeletehooray, your writings on theater and writing much missed!
ReplyDeleteBwahaha! Payback stories in life are worth waiting for.
ReplyDeleteI will not use (LOL) but I laughed out loud. You just need a little advanced notice that there will be a hot temp at the desk so you have a time delay to pull yourself together. Too bad she didn't see the real Zibbs. It would've been a whole different story, then again, maybe she thought it was quirky and kinda cute.
ReplyDeleteMrs C - No. She probably thought I was a freak.
ReplyDelete