Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Discovery I Found In Sixth Grade. Has To Do With Boobies.

When I was in sixth grade I was a my friend's house and I went to open a closet and I found this weird contraption.

"What the??"

I pulled it off of the shelf and looked at it then called my friend. "What IS this thing?"

He grabbed it and examined it. "I don't know I think....I don't know."

We looked at it kind of like how people who stumble across a flying saucer look. There's SOMETHING familiar about it but...

Well we realized what it was after we found the box. It was no other than the famous Foot Operated Breast Enlarger Pump. First sold in the 70's. I looked at him and in a shameful way he just said, "I guess it's my mom's."

Here it is:



According to this webite there are also creams that are to be used but we didn't find any of those. Creams. "Lower shades and lock doors then while arching your back apply cream to breasts and rub in a circular fashion. Prepare for sudden growth."

Moral of the story? Don't snoop around closets at your friend's parents house.
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12 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 21, 2012 at 1:29:00 PM EST

    So are you scarred for life or a boobie fan? Not sure what is worse, your discovery of the orginal rabbit in a sock drawer ... Kel

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  2. Dr ZibbsFebruary 21, 2012 at 2:09:00 PM EST

    Amonymous - Nope. Not afraid of them.

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  3. Trooper ThornFebruary 21, 2012 at 2:47:00 PM EST

    So what were your friend's mom's cans like: tiny or swollen and sore from all the pumping?

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  4. CameronFebruary 21, 2012 at 3:37:00 PM EST

    Be glad you didn't find your buddy's dads penis pump!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dr ZibbsFebruary 21, 2012 at 3:42:00 PM EST

    Cameron - I have a friend whose cousin had one. So he's telling him about it and my friend start laughing at him. He got so embarrassed he threw it out the car window.

    ReplyDelete
  6. VenomFebruary 21, 2012 at 6:00:00 PM EST

    Did you know douchebags used to be reuseable? Because they were made of sturdy rubber and...
    *conciously suppressing the rest of that shocking discovery memory*
    **shudder**

    ReplyDelete
  7. sybil lawFebruary 21, 2012 at 9:07:00 PM EST

    Hahahaha
    And yeah - so how was the mom's breastesses?
    Once, at my husband's aunt's house, his sister and I found "The Swell Guy". It was some anal contraption. The picture of the guy on the cover was fucking hysterical, and my SIL and I will do it randomly and break out in tears laughing.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dr ZibbsFebruary 21, 2012 at 9:19:00 PM EST

    Sybil - haha I need to track down that product just to see the packaging.

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  9. UnknownFebruary 22, 2012 at 5:29:00 PM EST

    And I thought my sisters using my mom's Maxi Pads as Barbie Doll beds was bad. Clever, but way scandalous because her suburban lady friends realized she wasn't all aboard the Tampax Train and, as such, was way gross...

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  10. Dr ZibbsFebruary 22, 2012 at 6:56:00 PM EST

    Trina - We used tied together tampon strings as jump ropes!! It's like we're twins or something!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. JillFebruary 26, 2012 at 9:11:00 PM EST

    Well...and yet you learned a very important lesson! Who'da thunk?!?!?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dr ZibbsFebruary 27, 2012 at 9:18:00 AM EST

    Jill - Very important.

    ReplyDelete