BREAKING NEWS: Chester County Man Confronts Loud Eater!

I must be growing bigger balls in my older age. First I tell the teenagers to shut up in the Downingtown Regal Theater (see story here) now I confront a loud eater at the library.

If you think about it I'm kind of like a public nuisance fighter. A man who puts himself in danger's way for the good of others. Perhaps like a super hero? Hold on there. I put my pants on like everyone else. Am I making the life of the commoner better by standing up to these injustices? Yes but "super hero" might be pushing it. Well, they're YOUR words not mine. Call me what you will.

Here's what happened. I'm sitting on the computer and this dude is eating Peanut Chews. Loudly. Smacking his lips and mouth with every bite. I'm not exagerating when I say that if I tried I couldn't do it louder. If you heard my imitation you would roll your eyes and say, "Yeah right. He wasn't doing it THAT loudly!" But he was. Almost like he was doing it on purpose.

After a few minutes of looking over to him - him oblivous - I finally couldn't take it. My blood was boiling!

Me: Listen. Do you realize how loud you're eating? You need to go somewhere else.

Him: (looks at me and he's furious) What? ..I...Why don't you!....FINE!

Then he flings his chair back, grabs his stuff and storms out. He looked like David Banner right before he goes all Hulk.

I was hoping for applause from people but there were only a few people there. And they probably sensed danger*. Not sure if they noticed because I was then going into fight preparadness mode. After a minute I was going to turn to the guy behind me and say, "Do you believe that guy?" But didn't.

And I don't feel bad either. A few weeks ago the dude was doing the same thing. And he was eating Fritos -taking one tiny piece and chewing it slowly with the same loud, annoying lip smacking. And was also then opening his drink, taking a sip then going, "Ahhhhh."

Jerk! You got what you deserved!

*Pussies.