Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Downingtown Regal Theater Badass Incident. Courage.


I finally blew my stack at the movie theater.

You might recall I told old people to shuusssh a few months ago by saying, "Will you please stop talking??"

Well this time it was a pack of kids. A wolfpack if you will. I'm guessing they were about 12 years old. But they were wolfey. AND scrappy.. And they wouldn't shut their yappers. I did the classic head turn first. Trying to show I was pissed. I don't think they even heard me.

I was thinking maybe I would walk to the back row all creepy style and say, "This is a theater. You don't talk in theaters. So I need it quiet. And for the damage you've done so far I'm going to take your popcorn. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to return to my seat and TRY to get back into the zone of letting myself go."

Instead I just blurted out, "SHUUUTTTT UUUPP!!"

I was kind of pissed because I was hoping the other in the people in the theater would start clapping. Or I would hear someone say something like, "Stanley why don't YOU have the courage to do something like that?" As she leans her head trying to get of glimpse of me. Wondering, "Who IS that man?'

But instead it went silent. A few of them laughed. Friggin' punks.

Of course then I was stewing so when the 15 year old usher came in I whistled and waved him over.

Me: I need you to kick the back row out. They won't shut up.

The usher walks to the back then returns.

Usher: I told them to be quiet. I'll come back in ten minute sir and you let me know if they're still talking.

They actually did shut up. So when the usher came back he looked at me and I gave him the OK signal. I was going to give him the thumbs up but thought they might be taken as, "kick them out."

In closing. Shut up at the movies.

11 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

Anyone else want to talk? Hmmm? Hmmmm?

Andrea Kiliany Thatcher said...

I love that you were expecting applause. I get the impression you go through life waiting for applause and get a bit nonplussed when it doesn't come, so you decided to start this here blog! :P

Just kidding. Kids should shut up at the movies. Why don't you ever ask me to the movies, Zibbs?

Dr Zibbs said...

Andrea - I really should invest in a remote control clapper I can plant places for incidences like this. Just to get the crowd going. With a slow, loud clap.

And I only go to the movies alone because I like to have zero interaction with people there.

Also the reason I never go at night. Too many people.

sybil law said...

Good for you! Rude little fuckers need to be put in their place - regardless of age.

Dr Zibbs said...

Sybil - I heard dat!

Scope said...

Were the junks waiting to jump you after the movie? Probably not. People who talk in movies aren't up for confrontations.

radioactive girl said...

I hardly ever go to movies but when I do it seriously annoys me when people talk through them. Good for you!

diane said...

And the DIDN'T throw candy at your back? Kids must be slipping these days.
The clapper idea is genius, you should patent that.

Just telling it like it is said...

Oh I've flipped out at the movie theater and mortified my son who thought Ma what are u doing...hey it was Harry Potter and I was serious about my son seeing that movie

Dr Zibbs said...

Just telling it like it is - Priorities.

Cora said...

I once had a woman sitting next to me who kept talking on her cell phone and texting people the whole damn movie. Her yapping was enraging, but somehow the lit up screen on her phone was even more aggravating. It was blinding. I never said anything to her about it, instead I just stopped watching the movie and started staring at her.

Staring.

And more staring.

Then she quietly got up and moved somewhere else. HALLELUJAH! I mean, really, what the hell was she even in the damn theater for if all she was going to do was play with her phone?!

We should team up, you and I. We'll get the theater crowd shaped up in no time. *fist bump*