I've Got A Confession. That Man Is A Nuisance. Gum.

I've got a confession. OK. Well first off, let me start by saying that I've never smashed a bottle against a wall. I don't throw trash out of my car window. I don't do graffiti. Well, unless you're talking back in the day. I used to leave tons of pen drawn graffiti in bathroom stalls at school. But that was more like art. Entertainment for the masses so lets not count that.

But there is one thing I do that I'm not proud of. Sometimes when I'm done chewing gum I'll discreetly drop it on the ground in a parking lot. Something about the idea of someone stepping it then just cracks me up. Does that make me a dick? Maybe. I just can't help myself I tells ya!

Kid: I stepped in gum!

Mom: Oh Timmy why don't you watch where you're going! (as if everyone can spot a piece of gum). Let me see....Oh my God what a mess!

The mom then takes a tissue out of her purse to try and clean it off. As if THAT'S going to work.

A content Zibbs watches the scene from the bushes.

Actually I would feel bad if a kid stepped in it. In my head only assholes step in it. A 50 year old blabbermouth yenta. An old racist factory worker named Bob. Brice, the playground bully. Wow. When you look at it that way I'm kinda performing a public service.

And on other gum dropping related news I remember years ago working with this goody goody chick and she stepped in gum in the parking lot and said, "Oh my God! I stepped in gum! Who DOES that?! Why would anyone DO that?!!"

You had to hear how she said it. She was so horrified at the thought that she lives in a society where someone would drop a piece of gum. It's as if she just discovered her tires were slashed and pig's blood thrown all over her windshield.  Listen sweetheart. It's gum. Get  over it OK?