A few miles away from me is the Marchwood Goodwill. Back in the day though it used to be a porn theater. I remember going there a few times with friends while drinking beers and we'd wait for people to come out then yell things, "Hey! Look who's coming out of the porn theater! Come over here. It's the Daily Local News. We want to interview you!"
And people would cover their faces and rush to their cars. One time we even saw a teacher! Of course we yelled his name.
Well one time in junior year a few of us decided to go in. I forget if we used fake ID's or what. We smuggled some beers and watched. For about 20 minutes. There's something creepy about watching porn with a bunch of dudes and strangers so we left. I mean really. Watching porn is an interactive sport so who knows what some of those people were doing.
Back at school we were laughing about it at the lunch table and here's what happened:
Chris: Wait. So what exactly do they show?
Me: Everything. Two people f%#king.
Chris: Bull. There's no way they actually show it.
Me: Yeah they do. And close up. A d&$k going into a wet p#&*y.
Chris: Oh come on they can't show that! You're full of it. It's probably them under blankets.
Me: Under blankets? What?? I saw it on the screen! You mean I think I saw something else? Then lets go this weekend!
So a bunch of us go. And he still thought we were making it up. That maybe they just showed some boobs or something. Now remember this was before the information super highway so unless you saw a stag film on 8 mm at a party or you were getting some snitchy-snatch your own bad self you may have never seen anything like this.
We walk in and there is a full close up on the screen of two people "bumping uglies*" and here is what happened:
Chris: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!
Me: Shhhhhh!!!!
Chris: HOLY CRAP THEY"RE ACTUALLY DOING IT!!
Me: Shhh! Shut up!
Chris: OH MY GOD! (covers eyes then looks up again) OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!! THEY'RE SHOWING EVERYTHING!
It was pretty classic.
*And what was with all the hair? Jesus Christ! Whoever started the movement of people shaving and trimming deserves a Nobel Peace Prize. Seriously. What year did this become the norm for most people? In the early 90's?
...I wonder of ghosts of pervs haunt the Marchwood Goodwill?
ReplyDeleteI wonder what the average jizz mopper makes?
ReplyDeleteBamaTrav - I wonder how often the manager would yell it the jizz moppers, "You missed a spot!..And here too! God damn is it hard to find good help!"
ReplyDeleteThe term "Stag Film" DATES YOU, lol !!
ReplyDeleteEver run into Pee-Wee Spermin' at that fine establishment ?!?
Shaving of pubes ? MID-NINETIES.
Feff - I think it even PREdates me. I think stag films are just from the 50's. Probably picked up the term from that one episode of Happy Days.
ReplyDeleteThere you go yelling for Jesus again.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous - he is the way and light. Or something like that.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha
ReplyDeleteI think my reaction was pretty much the same as Chris's, though.
Sybil - Ha! mail me the cassette recording of your screams?
ReplyDeleteWow!! Thanks for finding me so that I can find you....this was great!
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen a porn movie place since my Navy days. They were creepy then too. I'm not saying porn is creepy, just the public movie places...
ReplyDeleteCholeesa - Thanks for stopping by. Don't be a stranger.
ReplyDelete...and you too Mark and izdiher
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ReplyDeleteI think she tied Nye - Dot.
And I think that's more than a Ksdon- Kskan.
They have gerontologic.net .
Gmartinez@dcconnor.com
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Pretty much Hotel@LACASTILLA.NET.
This is your " KNORMSEA 29"?
It's what Formoca 13 is with " EVIL EMISSARIES 666"?
That's your MISSONE- JO?
You know Carter.
Gettrem 20 to Cdaans 22.
People do this in a movie theatre? Oh my!!
ReplyDeleteMy town didn't have a porno theater. So deprived.
ReplyDeleteHaha. It is time that we pay tribute to pubic trimming and waxing. It just looked so . . . smelly.
ReplyDeleteDr K - Peeeee UUUUUUU!
ReplyDelete