The problem was I was to pick up the items at the worst supermarket on the east coast: The Sea Isle Acme on 61st street (next to Uncle Oogies). I waited in the express line for 10 minutes, then the lady in front of me had an issue with a coupon. I'm not kidding that it took the cashier five full minutes (you're reading that correctly FIVE MINUTES) to resolve the problem. I'm not getting that 15 minutes back. It's sounds like not a big deal but with low blood sugar and all???? Also, I had my heart set on drinking beer by 4:30 and it was already 4:00.
When I get pissed, the only way to make myself feel better is to make someone else feel worse. And since it was so hot I thought I'd make it easy on me - by making a kid feel crappy. So I strut myself a few stores down into Funtown Air Conditioned (just look at that photo above - that place is nice). I walked in slowly, then framed myself like I usually do in the doorway. I usually pick up a used cig from the ground outside, then pretending I was smoking it I flick it at the change person. It intimidates the hell out of the greasers.... and the ladies? ...Come on now..
I then confidently walked over to Galaga and hovered over the machine, tapping my quarters on the side. The punk kid playing Galaga had no idea that I was tapping the tune Eye of the Tiger.
"I've been playing this game since 1981. Are you up to the challenge?"
To make a long story short - I got up to level 7. Level 7. Since Galaga doesn't spit out those crappy little arcade tickets, you don't win any prizes but since I got up to a level 7 I was gonna ask the manager if they'd make an exception because I saw the most adorable little ceramic clown that would have made a nice addition to my clown collection. I even named him - "Coney" - because the rascal was sporting a precious cone shaped hat (see him in the picture below - Coney's to the right of those gay ass rabbits and to the left of that ridiculous carousel horse. He's wearing a sharp, red blouse):
You were going to pick that gay ass clown over the very adorable little mouse in the teacup on the very left? What are you, like, dumb? It's because of his red shirt, isn't it, Commie?
ReplyDeleteGalaga. Pssshhhhh.
ReplyDeleteYou wouldn't last 10 seconds against me in a game of Centipede. No one ever could.
I just wanna know if ya made the kid cry cause if not how could you possibly have felt any better?
ReplyDeleteI used to kick ass on Tempest but I haven't even seen one in many years.
Oh great, I find out the hard way that my stupid Google Reader isn't sending me accurate info for your feeds, so I've been missing your posts.
ReplyDeleteSorry!
Galaga! Hell yes! I even know "Eye of the Tiger"! Sweet!
ReplyDeleteFuntown sounds FUN!
Minus the creepy clown, although I admit Coney is a nice name.
:)
Coney? Best. Name. Ever.
ReplyDeleteGood thing I'm never having kids or my child would be the playground punching bag with that peppy little moniker.
Coney looks like The Tin Man in a Santa suit.
ReplyDeleteHey is that you in the Fun Town picture with your knee-length jean shorts and white socks and mullet holding up the wall next to the official Fun Town Shovel? If so, goddamn you're hot.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all Falwless, the place is called "Funtown Air Conditioned" as you can see by the sign. Second, all I EVER where when going into an arcade is a black Bad Company t-shirt and jeans
ReplyDeleteyou have to admit, falwess did get the mullet-part dead on.
ReplyDeleteGalaga is for pantywastes. I'm with truckindog- Tempest, that there was a video game.
ReplyDeleteIf I get bored today I'll make you a Coney out of a hot dog, a bun and some meaty sauce. Then I'll eat him.
a) that sounded dirty- oops.
b) I'm missing the mark on what sort of "coney" we're discussing, aren't I?
What!! No skee ball! Glad to see you had a typ Jersey shore outing. It also makes for a great people show.
ReplyDeleteOMG!!!
ReplyDeleteI used to work for ACME Markets, Inc. for, like, ten years. [not that one though].
Worst. Chain. Ever.
Sounds like you had lots of fun in Sea Nisle.
I'm finally taking a look-see at your ever so famous blog, to see what all the fuss is about-ha-, so I started from the beginning. I see it wasn't until July of 08 that you actually got your fan-base. Interesting stuff. Anyway, My family would go on vacation just a few blocks away from that arcade...I grew up in playing in that place...of course now I go to DE beaches, but the great memories remain!
ReplyDelete