Last week while getting my fix of lobster bisque at Zoup in Frazer, I was walking by the Hoover Vacuum store and look at this little character that caught my eye. I'm totally going back there because could you imagine if you put this guy - lets call him Hubert the Hoover Guy - OUTSIDE of the shop instead of INSIDE the shop????? Then you could use a Mr Microphone to totally drive sales INTO your store. Here are some of the notes I scribbled on a napkin about it:- Every half hour, put on a five minute "show".
- Offer to do the show until the workers can do the imitation of Hubert the correct way - it's like: "Whutch dish shing?" (that's him saying, "what's this thing") - try it -say it aloud. There you go. See what I mean?
- Rig something up so when he talks, you can shake him a little bit so it looks realistic when he's talking. Consider hiding in a big vacumm cleaner box and cutting a hole so you can shake him without being seen. Put a sticker on the box that says, "Special Delivery" and the correct date. This way, when people see the date, it won't give things away.
- Consider rope gates around him so people don't get too close to the big box.
- Say things to people like, "That trash can over there is dirty but we can vacuum your home up and make it clean" or something like that - I'm still working on that one.
Anyway, I'm gonna look stupid if I just walk in there and give them that idea but I was thinking maybe you guys could call the store. Just say, "Hey that puppet should be on the outside of the store". There's no way they'll do it on their own because you don't just throw it out there willy nilly and make things happen. It's a daunting task. But then when I walk in and explain that I've done all of the creative leg work (see list above), then they might bite.
I'm not getting too excited but if I could get this off the ground regionally, I don't think I'm too out of line saying that this could be a full national rollout. Wouldn't it be nice to be on the ground floor of this thing? OK then, start dialing and let me know what they say.
You, my friend, are going to be a millionaire! And forget national. An idea this good deserves to go international! You think they don't have vacuums in China? Of course they do! Plus, they go gaga for puppetry. You gotta think BIG!
ReplyDeleteThis is good. Nay, this is fucking awesome. He could also say things like "My name is Hubert! Ny-sh to meet shoo!" and maybe the light that's on the front of the vacuum could blink twice, like eyes blinking, you know what I mean? You know?
ReplyDeleteThis is good. I'm gonna keep brainstorming. You're onto something here.
Also, I need the store's phone number.
Now, what would you do with that lawn chair in the window? That seems a little out of place for Hubert's show. And I'm not sure it has anything to do with vacuums. I say lose it all together. Too distracting. People will be watching Hubert's show and thinking to themselves "What the hell is that lawn chair doing in the window of a vacuum store? Can I purchase that lawn chair or is it just for show?"
ReplyDeleteJDizz - I'm glad you pointed that out. The chair will sit in front of Hubert for the first few performances. Once I can get some press coverage I'll auction the "Hubert front Row Chair" off to the highest bidder.
ReplyDeletelololol.
ReplyDeleteI never do the gay "lololol" but shit. That response to JDizz made me laugh and laugh.
Oh dear.
Little did I know when I saw your comment that I was entering into a hot bed of creativity and - make me ga ga - brainstorming...the velvet rope is key to the success of this I feel it...
ReplyDeleteThe owner told me to stop taking crazy pills. But I think she secretly envied the fact that she didn't come up with the idea.
ReplyDeleteNow all you need to do is go in there, hit her with the marketing scheme and voila, once she's unconscious you can take Hubert outside and get the ball rolling.
1. I'm too lazy to look up the number. Please post it ASAP as I see a future for you and I want to help.
ReplyDelete2. I was practicing talking like Hubert and my boss, who was standing behind me and I didn't know it, asked me if I had had some dental work done. Talk about awkward and embarrassing. Sheesh. I told him that I was helping a friend.
There is a time.....in every man's life......when he is on the cusp of greatness. (Several echos). You my friend.......are on that cusp. By the way, is that how you spell cusp???????
ReplyDelete[gasp]
ReplyDeleteMaybe Hubert could tour with my band Sister Kisser®™©™ as the opening act.
Bwahahahaha!!
ReplyDelete