Imagine the horror when I was flipping through the Bed, Bath and Beyond circular and I see this contraption for inserting stuffing into a turkey. It's called a stuffing cage. WHAT THE HELL? Is this is the most obscene food photo you've ever seen? Is there anyway to shove this thing inside a bird without moaning, "Ohhhhh yeahhhhhhh! Owwww. Rub some more butter on my sides - it's too BIG!"I'll be heading to my inventor's workshop* tonight to put together prototypes for two accoutrements for this turkey cage: Mini Drumstick Cuffs and Tom Turkey Ball Gag. I said it once and I said it before, "I'm gonna be rich!"
*To see one of my other inventions, click here.
HAHAHAHA!! That is HILARIOUS!! and obscenely ingenious of you Zibsy!
ReplyDeleteI am starting a bloggers
ReplyDeleteagainst stuffing cages
committee
that's just FOWL!
Oh wait, I mean.. FOUL!
yeah, that's pretty horrifying.
ReplyDeleteI dunno...a sex toy for only $9.99 sounds pretty reasonable to me.
ReplyDeleteIs that stuffing going in or coming out? 'Cause that turkey looks DONE.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I like the raffia-tied legs. Makes the bondage seem more 'country home' than 'urban goth.'
I should send you some of my turkey porn videos. Hot stuff.
ReplyDeleteCrikey. I gather the cage remains in the turkey, for simplicity of extrication once the business is done.
ReplyDeleteNever mind that you can bake stuffing beside the turkey in a casserole dish for free.
I don't know D....I'd get them for false advertising because that cage looks like it's full of cashews not stuffing.
ReplyDeleteMy people will call your people and we can go in together with the bait and switch settlement offer to BBB.
THEN WE BOTH CAN BE RICH!
Shit, wait.... I just remembered...I don't have people.
Turkey Porn... Is that like you've seen one, you've seen 'em all??
HAPPY THURSDAY!!
- Jennifer
It's sort of making my eyes water.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm strangely turned on.
OK I'm kidding.
when I spent time in a Turkish prison, they had something similar to this. They tortured us by having us hide live rodents in it, then inserting it in us.
ReplyDeleteWas actually not much smaller than this either.
I am horrified... but I cant. look. away.
ReplyDeleteHow is this worse than a Turducken? Now that's an orgy!
ReplyDeleteIt's a giant turkey tampon.
ReplyDeleteI find myself mildly turned on...
ReplyDeleteI'll never look at those dirty birds the same way again.
ReplyDeleteGobble, gobble, baby.
Yuck... between that and the two finger condums I feel dirty.
ReplyDeleteIt really should be ribbed.
ReplyDeleteWhoever is holding the basket handle needs to be showing "the shocker"...
ReplyDeleteTom Turkey Ball Gag.
ReplyDeleteheh heh.
That's Hot.
As in H.O. double T.
i heard that it only hurts going in, but it feels really nice going out...
ReplyDeletewait, what?
Is there anyway to shove this thing inside a bird without moaning, "Ohhhhh yeahhhhhhh! Owwww. Rub some more butter on my sides - it's too BIG!"
ReplyDeleteNo, there is not. And somewhere in there is a joke about canned cranberry sauce being "ribbed for your pleasure."
I bet that thing was invented by the same guy that invented that metal duck bill thing OB/GYN's have been torturing women with for years.
ReplyDeleteOh GP, let's not talk about the cold metal duck bill thing...
ReplyDeleteThat is hot.
ReplyDeleteMy Tom like me to turn him over and spank him while inserting his "stuffing".
ReplyDeleteFUGGING FUNNY! The ball gag was just over the top.
ReplyDeleteWhat's next, Durkee Onion Nipple Rings on top of the green bean casserole?
BWahahahaha to Slyde.
ReplyDeleteWere you flipping thru the Bed, Bath & beyond circular while wearing your lacey panties?
ReplyDeleteI gotta say... that is one big cage.
peace
#2
My stars, that is extreme.
ReplyDeleteyeah. um. I saw this device in the circular while I was going number two.
ReplyDeleteso yeah. now I am very grossed out in all sorts of ways when see this photo. And i have flashbacks about it too.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
:)
Holly
HAHAHAHAHAHAAA
ReplyDeleteIt IS too big!!
Show us how its really done Zibbs.
I dare you.
LMC
Hahaha. I must say that is quite confronting!
ReplyDeleteYou must not have ever seen Ron Popeil's Solid Flavor Injector. A more blatantly sexual and phallic kitchen tool has never before been invented. The infomercial for it is truly disturbing.
ReplyDeleteYou turkey...stuffer!
ReplyDelete