Wednesday, July 30, 2008

West Chester Blogger Invents Drinking Parlour Game


First of all: Copyright That Blue Yak/Dr Zibbs 2008. Now that we have that out of the way:
Here's a great new party and drinking game I just invented. I will be getting into a bidding war with Milton Bradley and Parker Brothers once I get their addresses, buy stamps, send the proposals and get callbacks from them. So I guess you'll see it on the shelves in about 6-8 weeks. The working title is "Words, Voice, Motions" but I'll probably change it to something more catchy like, "Gotcha". Not sure yet.

The objective is to make the other person laugh by saying a "dirty word". The beauty is that the words aren't really dirty. That's where the beautiful loop hole comes in when I try to get PR for it in old folks homes. Have you read how old people playing the Wii is huge now? Well take the Wii out and give them "Words, Voice Motion" and do you think they're really going to notice the diff? Some of them geezers can't even figure the Wii out!! The Wii!!! And this game won't say "fun for ages 9-99". It'll say "fun for ages 0 - 299". Do you know how old people live now -let alone in 200 years from now? And, I've added 9 more years for the youngsters in case they ever visit their grandparent in the home (or great, great , great, great grandparents in the future). See. I did think this on through.

Anyways, back to the instructions. Enunciation and celebrity imitations are encouraged as are hand motions and face contortions while playing. Here we go:

- Get opponent
- Look at opponent (like a stare down)
- Say your word (make sure to have solid eye contact). You're trying to make the person laugh
- Once player 1 goes, it's then the turn of player 2.
- _________ (I'll leave this step blank because I have to figure out something to do with dice so it's technically a game).

This isn't the kind of game you just jump into so I encourage all of you to try this practice exercise: After stretching, look into a wall mirror or if driving -use your car mirror. Practice these words pretending that the person in the mirror is Player 2. If you don't have a good imagination put a hat on immediately after you say your word and look in the mirror (this will help to confuse you into thinking the person in the mirror is player 2) .

Here are some practice words. I'm not sure if they'll be included in the first edition that you'll see in stores, so you might be wise to print out this page and put it in a safe place. That way, you'll be able to cheat the first time you play.

Word: Buttock.
Voice: Say it like a Jerry Lewis asking a question.
Motions: Keeping body straight, extend YOUR OWN BUTTOCKS outward.

Word: tea bag (the act of placing one's scrotum/nads onto a sleeping victims eyes)
Voice: Spoken with a whisper lisp
Motion: Making devious face, look suspiciously to left, then right then, keeping back straight, bend your knees and bring body lower).

Word: Feathering (as in feathering/lightly tickling the scrotum/nads)
Voice: Say it in a singing style. Like a bird is singing.
Motion: Squat a bit and lean in toward opposing player. With palm facing upward, do the "come here" motion with not just your index finger -but with ALL your fingers.

Pretty amazing huh? It's kind of a cross between Password, Make Me Laugh, Swank Magazine, and Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Please leave your own "Words, Voice, Motions" suggestions in the comments section and they will be considered for Edition 2.

26 comments:

Falwless said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Falwless said...
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The Guv'ner said...

You know, I don't know about old people playing Wii however I was treated, last Christmas, to my 67 year old mother playing "Guitar Hero" and embarrassingly doing better than me. And I play a real guitar. Damn those old people.

Sorry, what were you saying?

Falwless said...

I may or may not have just deleted two comments because of shitty typing skills. Suck it.

My comment was:

I'm really tired of leaving comments like, "My god you make me laugh!!" or "Please stick your tiny penis in me, funny man!!" But I don't even know how to express it anymore.

I don't have the words, loverboy.

You are so retarded and I look forward to your posts so that I can laugh while I shake my head in disbelief and say under my breath things like, "That crazy Dr. Zibbs! He sure is swell. And boy is he a real gas!!" (I often talk to myself in early 60s lingo)

_________ (I'll leave this step blank because I have to figure out something to do with dice so it's technically a game)

That part started the laughing aloud.

Dr said...

Falwless you are out of sight! Please though, continue with the compliments. I don't hear the praise nearly enough in these here comments. When someone tells me I'm funny, I re-read what I wrote and then I even find it funny. It only encourages me. Please tape your self laughing and email it to me. You're a tech geek.

Dr said...

Falwless you are out of sight! Please though, continue with the compliments. I don't hear the praise nearly enough in these here comments. When someone tells me I'm funny, I re-read what I wrote and then I even find it funny. It only encourages me. Please tape your self laughing and email it to me. You're a tech geek.

Dr Zibbs said...

Fal, also, that's the part that made you laugh? I know the part that's gonna make McGlinch laugh. The description of how to do the motions. You know how I know? I saw him today and he said the description on the Blue Yak Shirts about how to model the shirts made him laugh. And I know what he does, he acts those parts out in his head. I just know it.

Holy Crappers said...

Is this gonna end up like Bambozzle? ya know the game Joey and chandler played on friends?

#1

Megan said...

Where does the drinking come in?

Gwen said...

Are we allowed to switch things up? Because I'm with you on the teabag motion, in fact it's the move I make every time I say the word teabag, but I like to say it more like a door bell. You know, like "Ding! Dong!" only "Tea! Bag!"

Can we do that? I don't want to be accused of cheating.

enc said...

This'll be great for the next time we girls have our wine cooler party!

(As many times as I try, I can't get my Google Reader to feed you, Blue Yak! I will try to keep up manually.)

mcglinch said...

i do act them out in my head but then once i think i've perfected them i teach them to small woodland creatures that come to visit me in my backyard.

Dr Zibbs said...

Gwen: I had to rehearse the "Ding, Dong" a few times but yes. I think that'll work.
Enc: the Google reader thing makes me nervous, do you think you can ask you husband to look at it?
McGlinch: Thanks for contributing. Please stop stalking me.

Anonymous said...

O.K. I get the game. Here's my idea for the dice.

Instead of using 2 dice maybe you use one dice (better known as a singlet)

A roll of the "singlet" will determine the number of drinks the LOSER will have to embibe.

Added to the game would be a "spinner". You know, one of those plastic arrows afixed to a cardboard square.

The participants could assemble in a circle similar to a prayer meeting or like the fight scene in Thunderdome.

The "It" spins the spinner and whoever it points at is guilty and the game is on. Mano Y Mano.

The LOSER has to roll the dice (singlet) and decide there own drinking fate. (adding to the drama)

If you use my Idea I only ask for a nice credit on the back of the box. Maybe a mascot type character giving me the two thumbs up with a big smile and a wink.

And don't think about stealing my idea because I have already written it down and mailed it to myself. I can't wait until it comes because I love getting mail.

O.K. I've already spent way too much time on this.

Dr Zibbs said...

Anonymous, all your suggestions are brilliant however I coincidently came up with the identical idea - word for word last night except that the singlet is called the dotted cube. If you come up with a really original idea I'll consider it.

McGone said...

Can I get 15 of these by Christmas? Do you do Paypal?

the indefatigable mjenks said...

Word: Sweater kittens.
Voice: Breathless 1930s Burlesque House Vamp
Motion: Slowly take one breast/moob in each hand, and, alternating between the right and the left, bounce them up and down to the beat of your favorite song, while lightly saying "mew" with each successive bounce.

Gwen said...

Oh, mjenks, I'm going to do that all the time, whether I'm playing the game or not. I seriously can't stop giggling from picturing it.

Falwless said...

Anonymous, all your suggestions are brilliant however I coincidently came up with the identical idea - word for word last night except that the singlet is called the dotted cube. If you come up with a really original idea I'll consider it.

cannot. stop. laughing. cube. neighbor. thinks. i. have. lost. it. don't. know. why. i. am. typing. like. this.

I need to know who Anonymous is. He/She's funny as hell.

Falwless said...

mjenks--What if I already do this? I mean, do I need to change anything for the official "game play," then?

Dr Zibbs said...

Falwess, I also am calling for Anonymous to come forward and take 2 minutes to set up a free blogger profile. Two funny comments in a row from this guy/gal. I'm going to analyze the writing style to see if it is indeed the same person.

the indefatigable mjenks said...

Falwless: No, but if you need to practice, feel free to call me. I'll be there in an hour. You might want to stock up on tissue in the meantime.

Gwen: Glad I could make your day. Now, let's get mew-ving! (get it? mew-ving?)

Anonymous said...

Sorry I cannot come forward.

This he/she (although I'm actually only one of those. I may have been jipped).

People want to know me...until they get to know me.....then they don't want to know me...ya know.

Me

enc said...

Haw haw, now that I read my comment again, it sounds very dicey indeed! Sorry!

I only meant that I can't rely on the Reader to tell me when you update, so I will probably be last on all the comments from now until eternity.

Anonymous said...

Last night I was stoned drunk man, I fell over on the floor laying there for 2 hours listening to the radio, when all of a sudden I hear the greatest guitar song of my life, some guy named GW Williams playing a song called - Beyond The Clouds on Electric guitar. Some how I then feel alseep then I woke up and stills remembered it.
So I look up the artist online and he's a Freaking Gospel guitar player, so I go to amazon.com and use my pepsi points and dowload the whole MP3, and I was amazed at this guys talent on guitar. What shocked me is that I used my pepsi points to get the whole CD , and till today I have hated Gospel music, but this guy is unbelievable I had to get it.
Maybe I am still drunk, who knows, here's his siteGW Williams Rock,Blues Guitar

Micgar said...

Zibbs-are you still taking ideas for WVM? Well here goes!
Words: "sniff my bloomers"

Voice: say it sheepishly, like you're kinda embarassed

Action: hold up a pretend pair of pants-with the front turned toward you-then (sheepishly) turn the pants around, and sniff the ass part of the pants,and pretend you've just sniffed the worst smell of all smells.

Whaddaya think?