This is a real nightmare I had last night. This is not a joke. Some creepy dude had me locked in a wooden coffin. I heard him telling someone on the outside that he would release me under the following conditions:
1) He wanted samples of my hair. All hair, including eyelashes and nether region hair.
2) He wanted a skin scraping sample.
3) He wanted a silhouette outline of my body straight on as well as sideways. And he clarified that the side view should include an outline when I was erect. WHAT THE HELL!!??
Now it gets even creepier. I got a call out of the blue IN REAL LIFE on Friday from someone I haven't spoken to since high school. He left a voicemail. He wanted to know how things have been. I have no plans to call him back because I'm sure he's going to want to get together. The creepy thing is - he was the dude in the nightmare! But aged and scrawny and serial killerish. AHHHHHHH!
What do you think this means?
It means your gay dude. (I had to say that before anyone else did).
ReplyDeleteIt totally means that you are fucking going to die.
ReplyDeleteBut then again, we all will...one of these days. As Jack said in "The Departed"...act accordingly. ;)
Holy smokes. I just broke out in a cold sweat.
ReplyDeleteIf I were you, I would NEVER go to my high school reunion.
Unless you are into some serious homo-erotic bondage games.
You've been watching too much CSI.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah and DO NOT get into a car with this dude, he will totally eat your skin.
Oh go ahead and go see him, then when you meet up, the very first thing out of your mouth should be "You can't trace me in silhouette with a hard-on" just to see how he reacts.
ReplyDeleteAnd what's up with the silhouettes? I picture him putting them in these large matted frames and hanging them like you see in Victorian homes.
ReplyDeleteI think it means you should start dreaming about me again.
ReplyDeleteI think it means he wants to see you fully erect.
ReplyDeleteBut can you blame him? We all do.
Dude thats some scary ass shit dream you had!! That would totally freak me out to the point of never coming to your blog again!!
ReplyDeleteYet, here i am!!
Have a great day!!
Love
Stalker
You were informed not to discuss this matter.
ReplyDeleteConsider yourself warned.
The next visit will be the Ghost of Festivus Present.
You will not like the third ghost.
HA HA HA that is so fuckd up.
ReplyDeletelol well maybe his vmail was playing when u were asleep. (not likely huh)
sexual gay dream for sure. you want to pull his hair and you want him so bad you could peel his skin off
ReplyDeleteGo meet up with the guy.
ReplyDeleteAnd then after not seeing nor speaking to him for years, tell him about the homo-erotic silhouette. Then get back to us about how awkward the night went after that.
next he will be knocking at your door...
ReplyDeleteI thought I had fucked up dreams..
ReplyDeleteI agree with Skyler, call him back and say that you are into these things. If he calls back, buy a gun, learn to use in and hunt the fucker.
It probably means that, if you decide to meet him for drinks and he asks you for some hair and skin samples, you should just give them to him. It will save you a lot of hassle and gasping for air.
ReplyDeleteI'll take a photocopy of that sideways erection please...
ReplyDeleteBeckeye - that's a wise plan. I'll plan to do that.
ReplyDeleteMiss Alex - Sounds good but you may want to wait and buy a frame because I was going to do the silouette on computer paper but I'll have to tape an extra piece of paper on for where the erection will me. Yeah. I think you're going to have to go to a specialty frame maker for this one.
MEANS? It means that you can never go to sleep again!
ReplyDelete- Jennifer
Hmmm. Well, I decided to look this doozy up in a dream dictionary for you (hyperdictionary.com/dream) and here's what I found out:
ReplyDeletea coffin means you feel confined and lack personal freedom.
the cutting of hair means loss of strength and that someone is trying to censor you.
skin means your protection of your inner self.
an erection means creative power, energy and that you want to take action (hello)
being kidnapped means you feel restricted.
a man who is known to you means you have concerns about this man.
being scared means you feel self-doubt and have a lack of control.
there was no outline definition, but chalk means your knowledge is being called into question.
and a serial killer means your emotions have been cut off and you are losing your identity and individuality.
My diagnosis, doctor - you need a hug. Awww.
Earl called. He asked me to ask you if you could send him that outline of your body with the erection...
ReplyDeleteYet another reason I shave my balls.
ReplyDeleteLess to give to the creepy guy asking for a sample.
Plus, I look bigger in boner silhouettes.
Dude you never comment on my comments!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat's up with that??
I may have to send the dream police to your mind tonight and make them make you have a nightmare!!!
Love
Stalker
Michelle J - here's my comment. And did you notice that even before you wrote that I left a comment on your blog? Yes I did.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the timing of the dream. It means that you want Santa to give you a little (maybe not so little) something..."extra".
ReplyDeleteI don't know what it means. I'm just glad your dream didn't end with you and Gwen rolling around on a polar bear rug or soemthing!
ReplyDeleteThat dream would've made me wet myself.
ReplyDeleteAnd not in a good way.
Hope your dreams are much better tonight!
Slyde I already packed it up. Well, I actually had the staff pack up the silouette of a gay dude but he won't know the difference.
ReplyDeleteDid he throw sausage patties at your ass?
ReplyDeleteIt means that you should DEFINITELY GO FOR IT!! Whatever happens will be an *interesting* experience!
ReplyDeleteIt means you should return my call.
ReplyDeleteYou are so fucked.....or gay. I haven't decided yet.
ReplyDeleteYeah, an outline including your erect penis, sorta gay.
ReplyDeleteI think Freddie looks like a cheese pizza, and that you should avoid this guy.
ReplyDeleteWho was going to do the actual silhouetting? Inquiring minds want to know.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking that you were kidnapped by aliens. Oh, and examined.
ReplyDeleteDuh - it means he's a serial killer and he wants you for his next victim!
ReplyDeleteThat is a bit creepy...
This was much more interesting before I realized the dream came AFTER the phone call.
ReplyDelete