(as many of you know, some sexy business has started with Gwen the blogger. See parts one and two, then clean yourself off and read on).
...so the love making went on for hours. Dr Zibbs needed some energy so Gwen made him a hearty breakfast that included some eggs Benedict and some freshly squeezed OJ and then it continued...
Gwen: (lying on Zibbs and playfully twirling his hair) Are you ready to go again?
Zibbs: After being revitalized with that heavenly Bearnaise sauce my dear? Of course.
Pumping resumes. Positions that make the Kamasutra look like a Bazooka Joe strip are used.
Gwen: Zibbs..
Zibbs: "Doctor" ..Zibbs please.
Gwen: Dr Zibbs, the things that you've done to me..the way you held my leg up and the softly tickled the arch of my foot. Thank God I lotion myself all over like I wrote in that one blog post a few weeks ago. ...the emotions that you've brought out...how did you learn all of this??...What exotic lands must one travel to get to this level of sexual experience? Are you even human??...How does one man please a woman like...
Zibbs: (covers her mouth) Shhhhhhh.
Gwen: I'm sorry baby (girlishly) Am I talking too much?
Zibbs: No I just heard the Bearnaise sauce bubbling in the kitchen. Would you mind topping this piece of poached egg off?
Gwen: Anything my dear.
She gets up (TOTALLY NUDE) and walks into the kitchen. Zibbs playfully throws a sausage patty at her ass. It sticks for a second then falls to the floor. She giggles. Gwen also totally ignores the fact that Eggs Benedict are made with Hollandaise sauce and not Bearnaise.
Zibbs: Get links next time baby. Get links.
Gwen: (returns to the bed and spoons some Bearnaise over a piece of Zibbs's last piece of egg and feeds it to him) How's that Dr Zibbs? Can we get back to fucking now?
Zibbs: Gwen, we can after you answer me one question.
Gwen: What is it stallion?
Zibbs: Why are there 100 shoes lined up over there behind that curtain?
Gwen: (nervously) Um. I just like to line my shoes up behind there like that?
Zibbs: Gwen, let's take this from the top. Why are there 100 shoes lined up over there?
Gwen: You know don't you?
Zibbs: (shaking head) Of course I do. It's OK, let them in.
Gwen: (walks over to the curtain and pulls it back to reveal 50 of his female bloggers from his record breaking 104 followers that have been hiding.....and watching.....and learning.... behind a curtain in the bedroom)
C'mon girls!
The 50 bloggers jump onto the bed and the "gettin it on" begins. Mind you it's an enormous bed.
Zibbs: Gwen, you better put on some more Bearnaise...we're gonna need it. (Pauses, turns toward camera and shrugs) Here we go again.
And CUT!
I was totally going to call you out on the bearnaise thing, but then you did it for me.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'll ever look at eggs benedict the same way now that they've been all sexified and stuff.
Whiskey M - having made both of those sauces, I thought I'd throw that in there for the foodies.
ReplyDeleteAnd here I heard that Egg's Benedict are fattening.
ReplyDeleteI see the trick is to work it off with sex!!
I think I'll be ordering more of them from now on.
Happy Hump Day!
- Jennifer
you know, martha stewart has a great recipe for hollandaise sauce that uses a blender...
ReplyDeleteoh wait. probably not the comment you were looking for.
i thought my husband was the only man to throw sausage patties at women's asses when they walked away. heh.
you should try pancakes.
I had started an angry email to you about the sauce... but your sexy dream pulled me back in before I could send it. I have to say, your sauce humor makes me like you more then I ever did before Zibbs.
ReplyDelete*heart attack*
ReplyDeletemy dog *heart attack* (by osmosis).
my nearest neighbor *heart attack* (by triple osmosis).
J.
Get links next time baby. Get links.
ReplyDeleteBOINK
Hey, I liked that pancake idea that SJ "threw" out there....could you work that into your next dream there 007?
I may never look at Gwen the same.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I was getting so hung up on the Bearnaise mistake, that I couldn't even get into story!
ReplyDeleteLMAO at throwing the sausage patty on her ass. "Get links."
Best. Series. Ever.
ReplyDelete; )
While I might have preferred a less subservient role in this fantasy, I like all the doing of it and the food is a nice touch. I always buy links.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't share so those 50 other bitches best be scooting out of my love den, like NOW.
(I'm kidding, Zibbs' other lady readers, just not about the sharing part.)
I think the CDC has just dispatched a van full of guys in yellow Devo suits to Zibbs' house.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lucky guy you are, Zibbsy.
ReplyDeleteNo boss. I think I need to remain sitting RIGHT HERE for a bit. I'll just call in to the meeting.
ReplyDeleteThe patty stuck to her ass! Lol!
ReplyDeleteGwen, that sticking a sausage patty to your ass thing sounds like a fun party game for this weekend. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. Say no more.
ReplyDeleteAnd (WARNING! BAD HUMOR AHEAD!) I though all female bloggers loved their LINKS.
What is it Stallion?
ReplyDeleteLydia - you like that Stallion line? Yeah, Gwen does come up with some good nicknames..Oh wait..I wrote that.
ReplyDeleteThat is some freaky, hot, saucy love! Now move over, i like to sleep on the right.
ReplyDelete"Pumping resumes."
ReplyDeleteI had no idea you were such a romantic.
Much Better Zibbs... oops I ment DR Zibbs. Gwen I just met you but I knew you must be wild in bed lol
ReplyDeleteSomewhere...right now...in a California prison...
ReplyDelete...someone is freshly squeezing OJ, too.
Coincidence?
Yeah, probably.
My daughter's name is Gwen. So, I'm a tad wigged out right now.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I liked the Stallion bit...
ReplyDeleteCora: Your daughter has a lovely name.
ReplyDeleteIf I win the lottery, I'm starting a porn operation. Hmmmm, I could probably do that now....
ReplyDeleteI have an erection that has lasted over 4 hours now, so I am calling you Dr. Zibbs.
ReplyDeleteTo Quote:
ReplyDeleteGreta said...
The patty stuck to her ass! Lol!
THAT WAS SOOOO NASTY i got this visual LOOOOOL and yet i couldnt stop laughing...
Why thank you, Gwen. :-)
ReplyDeleteWhat did Mrs. Dr. Zibbs think about all of this?
ReplyDelete"pumping resumes"
ReplyDeletebest line in a blog i have EVER read.
Zibbo, I hate to break it to you, but your math is off.
ReplyDeleteYou have 105 followers.
Good thing the Doctor is in the house.
ReplyDeleteNo one could have done this so well. You stallionaire you.
-LMC
whata dream! : p
ReplyDeleteI was just picturing all the shoes. ; )
Now hold on one damn second. 50 bloggers from your list of followers? I'm a female blogger on your list of followers.
ReplyDeleteGEEZ!! I didn't know I got down like that.
GO ME!
Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteDid Gwen squeeze the orange for the OJ with her...um, lady parts?
ReplyDeleteBecause that would be hot.
Saratogajean - I'm not sure if she squeezed the oranges with her lady parts to make the juice - much of the dream was suppressed...let me think here.......Yeah she did actually! Thanks for reminding me.
ReplyDeleteWow is just about all I can say....
ReplyDeleteBearnaise is fine on eggs benedict as long as you throw a nice hunk of steak on there too!
ReplyDeleteGreat visuals in this post, sir!
My oh my, what a large ....imagination... you have!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if in Gwen's version of the same dream you're doing all the cooking and she's the one throwing sausage patties at your ass?
ReplyDeleteI feel so included!
ReplyDeleteHow did I miss all this last week? Hysterical.
ReplyDeleteErrr...nevermind...it was from last year. Silly Stacey...
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing SO hard right now.... omg, the sausage patties/links part is AWESOME! hahahahaha
ReplyDeleteAlice I knew YOU'D like it.
ReplyDelete