Saturday, March 14, 2009

My Blog Friends Might Need Special Section At My Funeral.



So tomorrow is Ken's funeral and it got me thinking. If I ever die - and that's a big if, I've just realized that my blog followers are going to want to attend my funeral.

I'm thinking once the funeral is about to start, an announcement can be made that there will be a slight delay. Then you freaks can enter the arena (because the crowds will be so large and I want nothing to do with a church).

I'm thinking that if everyone enters from different entrances it will make the most impact and create the most awe from my real life friends.

And I'm open to suggestions of funeral chants and merchandising so let me know. I'll also need at least 20 team leaders that will be responsible for organizing the masses.
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27 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 15, 2009 at 2:09:00 PM EDT

    Your secret identity poses a problem here.

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  2. dianeMarch 15, 2009 at 2:16:00 PM EDT

    Have you already appointed someone to take over your blog and notify people? Wait a minute, what are we talking about this for? O.k., whatever, but shouldn't we make sure the brochures for this detail where we can find the nearest shrine, because surely there will be a lot of them erected in your honor (I said "erected").

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  3. Dr ZibbsMarch 15, 2009 at 2:24:00 PM EDT

    Kimmie - it will then be my gift to the blog world to reveal my identity at that point.

    Of course I'll be meeting you in person in West Chester soon.

    Diane - I've actually mentioned that to my wife but I guess I should write out specific details. Could you imagine the hysteria if all of a sudden I died and my blog just ended? I'm sure it would lead to major depression among hundreds of people and probably a few suicides.

    ReplyDelete
  4. TomMarch 15, 2009 at 2:34:00 PM EDT

    I'm sorry to hear about your brother in law, but if you want to start planning your own funeral I would suggest booking more than one stadium. I also like the idea of having sections roped off for people who will be screaming and wailing and tearing their clothes and throwing ashes on themselves. People just don't mourn like they used to.

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  5. J.J. in L.A.March 15, 2009 at 3:34:00 PM EDT

    Just make sure that the venue is wheelchair accessible, or I'm not coming. ; )

    I'll be thinking of your family tomorrow...

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  6. Vodka MomMarch 15, 2009 at 3:48:00 PM EDT

    I'm in. Just keep me posted.

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  7. Video Zeta OneMarch 15, 2009 at 4:17:00 PM EDT

    I'll be there if there's pyrotechnics involved.

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  8. Girl InterruptedMarch 15, 2009 at 4:25:00 PM EDT

    If you think you might bite the big one within the next 3-5 years ... please make sure you arrange live coverage via satellite for those of us in foreign climes who can't afford the air fare.

    *Full devotion services will resume AFTER the credit crunch

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  9. sasMarch 15, 2009 at 4:33:00 PM EDT

    What about a funeral goody bag? Ooo ooo you could have a shot glass etched with your name, birth and death dates. Classy.

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  10. Dr ZibbsMarch 15, 2009 at 6:54:00 PM EDT

    Gilligan - I'll put you in charge of that.

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  11. willMarch 15, 2009 at 6:56:00 PM EDT

    I suggest cremation and give your ashes away to everyone on a windy day. That's what I always do.

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  12. AnonymousMarch 15, 2009 at 7:47:00 PM EDT

    I don't want to be in charge of anything. BUT, I do wish to sit in the beer section.....
    and make sure they sell those good hotdogs.

    I will take the photos then post them for the world to see.

    peace
    #2

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  13. CoraMarch 15, 2009 at 8:21:00 PM EDT

    We could all march around the arena with flags like it's the Olympics!

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  14. CameronMarch 15, 2009 at 8:25:00 PM EDT

    I'm thinking some Queen music would be appropriate, like "Nothing really matters...anymore"

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  15. Amy KateMarch 15, 2009 at 9:08:00 PM EDT

    Wait, wait, wait...You wouldn't just have someone live-blog the event so we could all "be" there without travelling? Just asking. I'll make the trip if you aren't game for this, but...you know, just asking.

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  16. Phat MamaMarch 15, 2009 at 10:36:00 PM EDT

    I'm seeing a tailgating party before the funeral. Grilled steaks, hotdogs & brats. I'll head up the food part of your adios.

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  17. .March 16, 2009 at 3:34:00 AM EDT

    I've read that is it possible to make a diamont out of someone's ashes..is there any chance you'll get trasformed into one? Then every person at the funeral get a ticket, and at the end of the venue,who has the matching number wins a ZibbsDiamond!!

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  18. a striver for sanityMarch 16, 2009 at 10:22:00 AM EDT

    If I were to name a star in your memory, what would you want it to be called? Ummm, maybe a whole solar system would be more appropriate? What do you think?

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  19. mcglinchMarch 16, 2009 at 10:29:00 AM EDT

    i'm not looking forward to the phone call from Mrs. Zibbs to help her go through all your chicken scratched notebooks to figure out your password to post that final posting.

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  20. GwenMarch 16, 2009 at 1:58:00 PM EDT

    I will be too busy calling TBY attorneys to see what you left me to be in charge of anything.

    Wait.

    What I meant to say is that I will be too bereft to be in charge of anything.

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  21. AnonymousMarch 16, 2009 at 2:27:00 PM EDT

    I'm actually surprised that you will allow yourself to die.

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  22. Swedish ChefMarch 16, 2009 at 2:32:00 PM EDT

    Zibbs will most likely die by my hand... I assume. In which case I will notify everyone by screaming at the sky from on top of the Courthouse. You'll hear it, trust me.

    At the procession I suggest this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRB45Jv6lW8&feature=related

    ReplyDelete
  23. AnonymousMarch 16, 2009 at 3:18:00 PM EDT

    Yeah, I need a ride that day, if anyone can run by and pick a girl up.

    #1

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  24. PeggyMarch 16, 2009 at 9:57:00 PM EDT

    I was two seconds away from heading up to bed and I thought to myself...I have to check TBY real quick and now I'm sitting here crying...a few suicides as well huh?

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  25. Fancy SchmancyMarch 17, 2009 at 3:30:00 PM EDT

    I'll head up the really bad singing section, we'll blame it on the grief. Any special requests?

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  26. FalwlessMarch 19, 2009 at 12:32:00 AM EDT

    I can't stop laughing at this post. A++++++.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Mandy_FishMarch 19, 2009 at 2:37:00 PM EDT

    This seems perfectly reasonable to me.

    I always wanted ABBA's "Lay All Your Love On Me" played at my funeral, or actually, sung by a gospel choir.

    You can totally copy me, since we live in different cities an all...

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