So I while back on my blog I did a series of posts about practical jokes I've done. Here's another one. Grab a carpet mat and have a seat and I'll treat you to another one. Gather in closer now.
You! No eating!
OK. So it was in college and I'm walking down the dorm hall and this jackass that I never could stand was leaning against a doorway harassing this shy girl.
Guy: So admit it Patty. You're a virgin.
Shy Girl: Will you just shut up.
Guy: It's not a big deal. But why won't you admit it? You're a virgin aren't you?
Shy Girl: (about to cry) Just shut up.
This had been going on for a while.
So later on that night, I was hanging out with these two chick that were really funny and asked the one to do this. I was going to do it myself but was afraid he'd recognize by voice. So the one called him:
(Phone rings)
Guy: Hello?
My Chick Friend: Hello is this Barry?
Guy: Yeah.
My Chick Friend: Well hello Barry, this is Mary Ann from American Collegiate Calendars.... And the reason we're calling is that we put out a calendar every year featuring various students from colleges in the region and we'd like to see if you'd be interested in posing.
Guy: (All excited and shit) Really?
My Chick Friend: Really. Now we did get your name anonymously from someone that apparently watches you play football? - looks like you've got an admirer. Would you mind posing in your football outfit?
Guy: Yeah OK.
So we give him more info and tell him that the photographer was going to be at a specific building in a week. This jackass was so excited he called every friend he knew, called his parents and was walking around like a dick.
So the day comes and I see him walking out of the dorm. About an hour later he comes back all pissed off, opens his door and throws his crap in the room.
Mission accomplished. Don't mess with Zibbs.
Aww! That was kinda chivalrous of you!
ReplyDeleteYou're my hero.
Girl I - are you saying that I'm a...that I'm a super hero in a way? Yeah - I think you are.
ReplyDelete(humbled)
Well I...I guess I am but that's just the kind of thing I do. I'm just being myself you know.
Now if you'll excuse me I need to help some old lady with her groceries.
And as I just tweeted, I've just recorded a homeless person singing a proposed TBY theme song.
ReplyDeleteYou can listen to it by hitting "play" on the Snapvine recorder located conveniently on my sidebar.
BAAAAAHAHAHAH that's awesome you totally rule for that...
ReplyDeleteQuestion Did you ever tell shy girl?
Miss Alex - I was going to tell her after I did her but sometimes heroes don't like to brag.
ReplyDeleteAwwwww. The jerk sooo had that coming!
ReplyDeletejerk jocks getting jizzed. Warms my heart.
ReplyDelete*Holds up a lighter and sways, all caught up and stuff in the emotion of the theme song and sings along*
ReplyDelete"Cos That Blue Yak is the gweatest blog in the land. Yes it is. Positive"
Girl I - Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI heard some hobo singing it this morning and he said it was OK to record him as long as I would split the merchandising rights with him.
Chivalry is not dead. It's kind of weird, but still alive and kicking.
ReplyDeleteI love you even more now that I know that sometimes, just sometimes, you use your talents for good and not evil. You're the wind beneath my wings, Doc.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the new TBY themesong! How much did you pay him? A stick of gum and the lint from your left pocket?
Gwen - His payment was that I wouldn't steal his can of beans.
ReplyDeleteWhen did Elmer Fudd become homeless??????
ReplyDeletepeace
#2
I love good deeds!!
ReplyDeleteA total hero!
ReplyDeleteI need closed captioning. Or a lyrics page. SOMETHING.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a practical joke we tried in college that never took off.
ReplyDeleteFreshman year. No one had a phone in their rooms, you had a public phone at the end of the hall. We decided that we wanted to steal all of our friend's furniture and stash it in the room across the hall, so we had to get him out of the room for 10 minutes or so.
So I called him pretending to be a senior high school student (Greg from Christian Brothers Academy) doing a research paper on religion and the modern college student. I told him that I had received his name from a mailing list and I had a questionnaire for him. He agreed to participate.
So I gave the sign to my buddies and they ran off to sack his room. Turns out his family had popped in unexpectedly and they burst in and stammered an apology. In the meantime, however, I'm on the phone and my buddy is giving incredibly honest answers to my questions. Turns out he was thinking about the priesthood or some kind of service to the Church, and I was becoming more and more embarrassed at looking into the very private life of someone I called a friend all in the name of a practical joke.
I was on the phone with him for about 10 minutes and I was feeling like a heel. Then my other friends gave me the cutoff sign and I thanked him and hung up. I found out that they couldn't go through with it for obvious reasons and I felt even worse.
Fast-forward three years. We are seniors and about to graduate. Me and him are drunk and reminiscing about the great times we have had over the years. I suddenly remember my time as "Greg from Christian Brothers Academy", and I spill the beans.
At first the look of shock on his face was a bit terrifying. Was he gonna hate me? Then he started laughing so hard that tears were rolling down his cheeks. He thought it was the funniest practical joke gone bad story he had ever heard. And I felt better as I had been carrying around that guilt lo those 3 years.
Phew!
Sorry for the long comment. Shit sometimes happens, yo!
Lyrics to come.
ReplyDeleteLol. You should've told him the theme was football players in their underwear.
ReplyDeleteMy heart grows fonder for you somehow after reading this. Could you come deal with some jackass interns we have here at work. Much appreciated.
ReplyDeleteOMG, I don't know which is better, yours or BE Earl's. Good job, guys.
ReplyDeleteIncredibly sweet of you. Glad he got his.
ReplyDeleteThat Blue Yak - men want to be him, women want to be with him. His kryptonite - kryptonite (mixed with uranium....and jello)
ReplyDeleteCould you help me exaxt revenge on my mother-in-law?
ReplyDeleteIs your middle name 'karma'?
ReplyDeleteI am pleased with you, Zibbsy. And a little scared.
Nice, Zibby. That is far more impressive than the pranks I play on people I don't like where I call them idiots, which is not really a prank as it is the truth.
ReplyDeleteI shall call you the "House" of blogger...
ReplyDeleteA complete ##hole with a golden soft and fluffy heart!
You are a sweetie!
You should sell "blue yak peluches" with your recorded voice inside "send me your naked pictures" or whatever you'd like to say!
Cool song definitely.
ReplyDeleteAnd you sir are also cool - you were cool when most guys are jerks.
I may retroactively fall in love or something.
Wait wait!!! What happened? What was in the building?!?!
ReplyDeletethat's friggin awesome. i hope that brought him down a few notches...loser.
ReplyDeleteI like a good practical joke, and dare I say...DATS A GOOD VON!
ReplyDeleteEspecially since it was at the expense of some Neanderthal.
I thought "Shy Girl" was going to be the photographer.
ReplyDeleteOr you were going to leave a message at the dorm that the photog was running late and would do the shoot tomorrow.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
I think a saw Robbie Benson tell the same story on Letterman...or was that Neil "Thee Man" Diamond. Forget..Not to be confused with Van "The Man" Morrison who has to come in second with most played drunk songs with "Brown Eye Girl"
ReplyDeleteSteenky Bee - thanks.
ReplyDeleteVic - Don't be afraid. Now step closer.
WWW - you've earned the right to use that phrase anytime.
Nice work! I feel that justice was done.
ReplyDeleteYou used your pranking for good and not evil :)
Thanks Kez.
ReplyDelete