Friday, May 15, 2009
Man at Exton Produce Junction Busted For Looking At Breasts.
...and that man was me.
Yesterday I was in the Produce Junction in Exton and some lady was bending over looking at flowers. You could totally see a lot of her boobage. So I took a quick peek. I was just about to move on then she bent over again so - like metal drawn to a magnet I took another quick glance.
Nothing too creepy I thought.
Then she saw me looking and quickly stood up.
I was going to say, "Do you even know who I am?"..but didn't want to embarrass her. Why do you ladies even wear stuff and expose the boobs to us if you don't want us to look? Jesus.
So do you like when we take a look or not? Let's just settle this once and for all. Is there a proper amount of time to look? Should we not smile, nod our heads, put hands on hips, swirl head around and say, "Oh you got it goin' on sister - YOU GOT.IT GOIN.OOOOOONNNNN" (snaps fingers then twirls then snaps again then does the bump twice)?
What are are the rules?
I would slap you for NOT looking.
ReplyDeleteOhhhh Beehaaaaave...
ReplyDeleteThat was my Austin Powers imitation.
ReplyDeletePretty good huh?
It's in the manual. Chapter 12 I believe. Looking time is up to you!
ReplyDelete- Jennifer
Zibbs - a little subtlety, will ya? Do we need to send you back to guy training? Remember if you can peek a bunch if you do it covertly, but if you're staring right at em, with drool running down your chin, they're gonna take their toys and leave.
ReplyDeleteI always carry one of those pinhole cards that you use to look at an eclipse with for this very purpose.
ReplyDeleteI've been told that licking your lips while you stare is usually not considered good form.
ReplyDeleteDontcha remember that Seinfeld episode with Denise Richards?
ReplyDeleteIt's like looking at the Sun. You don't stare at it directly. You sneak a peek and then you move on.
I swear it was a quick peek!!
ReplyDeleteBut it was the split second she looked up.
Also, laughing out loud at SkylersDad's comment.
If I've got them on display, then you sure as shit better stare and appreciate them. A slap on the ass and a "good game" wouldn't kill ya, either.
ReplyDeleteDr. Z, please don't let Samsmama's comment get lost, I may need it in defense, some day.
ReplyDeleteFrank Irwin - I'm on my way to her house now. I'll have her print it out and I'll have it notorized after I'm done slapping her on the ass.
ReplyDeleteif they are on display then they are there for the looking!!!! Its the drooling..grabbing...walking around with a stiffy that kinda starts freaking me out a little bit...hehe
ReplyDelete(writing notes)
ReplyDelete...Don't....Have.....Stiffy....
Got it.
Listen to Cameron. He is wise.
ReplyDeleteDamn, this is almost a mirror image of MY Friday post. Almost.
ReplyDeleteHa! I just found myself in a similar situation a bit ago in Carlino's. Had to circle around on the way out for another look. At the broccoli I mean.
ReplyDeleteThird house on the left after the stop light.
ReplyDeletei have found that the BEST time to stop looking is right before they shoot the tazer....
ReplyDeleteOf course we want you to look!!
ReplyDeleteLooksy but no touchy. Unless, of course, we give the thumbs up.
The looking thing is what IMPLANTS were invented for.
and ps-Zibsy, I love you.
Although...if you are totally caught looking like you were, then you should absolutely pull that move that you described. You then advertise yourself as either gay or one of those effeminate straight guys and we accept both of those as 'girlfriends' and will take you out of the 'I need to taser you pervert' category.
ReplyDeleteGet it? Got it? Good.
Look depends on what the woman is doing. If she is hot but all angry and scowl and furiously talking on phone/texting, then don't bother.
ReplyDeleteIf she is lounging with her movements, enjoying her day out and about, connecting with her surroundings, then you can linger more than normal. Send her postitive energy with your appreciation.
if she is oblivous then stare all you need to. cause she hasn't noticed.
if you get caught, say, that is a lovely shirt/pants/shoes i bet my wife would just love those, where did you get it?
or just run.
either way.
:)
If you're gonna wear the costume (revealing clothing) you gotta expect some stares.
ReplyDeleteThere's a weather woman here with the biggest boobs and the tiniest waist. Even I stare. Those tv execs knew what they were doing when they hired her.
Do we have any rules for a woman staring at a woman's boobies? As i caught myself did that once and the woman actually winked at me!
ReplyDeleteMy personal rule is, you can look all you want as long as you don't grab. Grabbing is a no no and will get you a swift kick to the face.
ReplyDeleteLooking--totally cool, Staring--not so much. And please don't speak to them because they don't talk.
ReplyDeleteArrived via Candy's Daily Dandy!
I personally think you should stare and thing give a rousing round of applause for awesome boobage. Is that just me? Anyone?
ReplyDeleteCandy - I "heart" you too. Thanks for the blog post you wrote about me today.
ReplyDeleteThe Dental Maven - welcome to THAT BLUE YAK.
I just passed a woman with a t-shirt that said "Sign Language is the Way to Go" across the front.
ReplyDeleteI told her I prefer Braille.
Was that wrong?
Simple rules apply:
ReplyDeleteIf you're a hottie ... sure, look-a-lottie
If you're a nottie ... bugger off and die, creep!
What's up, Doc?
ReplyDeleteI'm a newbie over at your site, and I just wanted to say...
IS THAT LUCY LIU IN THE PICTURE?
If so, there is no limit upon the hooter-gazing. Hell, she could beat me senseless and as long as there were still eyeballs in my head, they'd be focused on the same thing(s) yours were.
Nice to be here!
Chris
cdmauger.blogspot.com
I say look. If you don't want people to look at a painting, don't frame it and hang it on the wall.
ReplyDeleteOKay I agree with most... my judgement... which is UBER important would be you have EVERY right to look ... If I'm wearing something that low cut and revealing I WANT the attention.
ReplyDeleteAnd a compliment would be nice... the trick is saying the compliment without being creepy about it! :)
I believe I would be greatly annoyed were you to do the grind whilst looking at my mammaries. However, I'd probably also be greatly miffed were you to basically ignore them too. So, you can't win. Nothing new there, right?
ReplyDeleteChris - That is Lucy L but it's not me. Thanks for coming by my blog.
ReplyDeleteWWW - I think I'll steal that line.
Shelle - So, "that's a great shirt" would do?
Mart@ - did you see how I'd do that double bump thing at the end?
ReplyDeleteMaybe you missed that part.
Damn, yo, if I'm still showing it, please keep looking at it! For as long as you'd like!
ReplyDeleteI'm lookin' baby. I'm lookin'
ReplyDeleteYo ... I'm a girl ... and I have breasts. I figure if I put em 'out' there, they're going to get looked at ... so get your boobage freak on man!!!
ReplyDeleteI've never been encouraged to look at so many boobies in my entire life.
ReplyDeleteIt really depends on he manner of looking. If you get caught I do think it's only polite to look away quite quickly.
ReplyDeleteAnd not all of us are always aware of how much we're showing, especially when bending over *cough**accidentally flashed a shoe salesman**cough*, so don't necessarily think of that as an invitation!
I have to agree, if I've got 'em on display, take a look. However, when we are talking then please talk to my FACE and not my twins. Hi. I'm up here. Thanks. ;-)
ReplyDeleteSweet Pea Surry - Thanks for the comment. And I will get the boobage freak on.
ReplyDeleteSoda and Cora - Good points.
Dr. Zibbs - Confessed "Boob-Man" here. Rarely "BUSTED" unless I choose to be. I usually put on the "1,000 yard stare" when I'm doing it, so it appears that I'm more lost in thought / a brain eating zombie, more than a letcherous lactose luggage looker. And then do a double blink and look the woman in the eye all confused.
ReplyDeleteBut, ladies, if you've go writing on them, I will read it. Not my fault. Put a bumper sticker on your forehead, and I'll read that, too.
Soda & Candy - Did you get a good markdown on the shoes? That's what's important.
Cora - When you have such beautiful eyes and such a brilliant smile, it's easy to keep the eyes up. But I may sneak an appreciative peek once or twice when you come to town next weekend.
This is the best use of the internet I've ever come across.
ReplyDeleteIt's questions like this that need, no. They DESERVE answers.
ReplyDeleteI would have been delighted to catch anyone peeking, it's been so long since I've been peeked. She was obviously a frequent peeker.
ReplyDeleteI agree with most women here...as the Boss says...You can look but ya better not touch boy!
ReplyDeleteT-Ro - hey there.
ReplyDeleteI look at boobs, just like I look at a beautful rose in bloom, like an awesome sunset, like a majestic mountain, like a spring thunderstorm rolling through. The difference is...I don't want to fondle any of these things.
ReplyDeletehahaha...great topic.
Phil
Look away! I mean, keep looking!
ReplyDeleteGirls are weird, fickle people.
Yes, I know I *am* a girl, but it's flat out the truth.
You make me laugh. :)
Phil - I like your style.
ReplyDeleteLOL@ that's a great shirt! Sure Dr. that would do... although I think you can be a little more creative if you set your mind to it! lol!
ReplyDelete@ Scope "The Confessed B(.)(.)B Man": Dammit, you'd better take an appreciative peek ~ or I'll kick your ass! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI wear a tiny boobage shirt. Look all you want.
ReplyDeleteOn it, it has woody woodpecker saying..."got woody?".
Show me yours, I'll show you mine.
peace
#2
Sista #1: Prove it.
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing really hard at R.o.c.k.e.t.D.o.g's comment right now. Hahahahahaha that's awesome.
ReplyDeleteI wear a really low cut dress when I cocktail waitress and you can bet I get stares but I also get TIPS so I don't mind at all!
Wait do I sound like a hooker there?
Ask Alice - More power to you. I don't THINK that makes you a hooker. I'll have to think about that one.
ReplyDelete