.....so there was this chick in college*. I use to tell her in class that she had the best nails I'd ever seen.
And it worked. I'm not saying it was directly because of the compliments, but she did break up with her high school boyfriend shortly after and we started "dating" - well....hooking up was more like it.
So I was really kind of getting into her until I walked into her dorm room one time and she looked like she was taking a nap.
Me: Are you sleeping?
Her: No. Just mellowing out to some Manilow.
She might as well have said, "No, just reflecting on my last KKK rally."
Well, that just about put the nail in the coffin in that relationship. Thanks Barry Manilow. For nothing. And I'm reminded of this story because it's Barry Manilow's birthday today. She's 66.
And can someone tell me if Manilow has ever officially come out of the closet? You never hear anything about that.
*this was the chick that tried to put her finger in my butt that one time but I clenched my cheeks so she couldn't. A "sorry - this road is closed" kind of gesture if you will.
That girl tried to stick her finger up your bum??? And you dumped her?
ReplyDeleteCameron - that's not my bag baby.
ReplyDeleteTHIS is our topic today?........ Men.
ReplyDeletehahahaha bum. That's funny!
Hey, Happy Hump Day
- Jennifer
Trying to think of something clever to say. Failing.
ReplyDeleteWOW... you totally dodged a bullet there! Manilow? In college? How did you not pick up on her tacky choice of music to "mellow" out to before that day you caught her "not napping"? I can smell a Manilow lover from 10 yards away???
ReplyDeleteok. I lied. I can't.
Anyway... after throwing up in my mouth at the finger almost in bum comment--I just wanted to say, "Glad you dodged the bullet"
There done.
I've said it twice so that should put it on the GUY meter which means I have almost got through and you listened.
You should have gone the finger-butt route, my friend. Those girls are awesome.
ReplyDeleteI have to say I love all kinds of music, but no thank you for the music Manilow. WoW! You almost got caught in a Manilow web. Phew! Way to dodge it!
ReplyDeleteLMAO at the finger in the bum. You know what they say though don't you?! A finger in the bum a day will keep a bitch at bay. Well, okay so in your case it wouldn't work but I digress.
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!!
ReplyDeleteWhere did you want the finger?
Did you just refer to Mr. Barry as a "she"?
ReplyDeleteYou could learn a trick or two from Ms Manilow...
ReplyDeletebuttwise, that is ...
...
I'm humming, Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl .... with yellow feathers in her butt ......
Beware of anyone who likes Barry Manilow and/or Air Supply.
ReplyDeleteBtw, did Barry get a facelift? His skin looks a tad too tight.
Barry Manilow is not gay but his boyfriend is flaming.
ReplyDeleteWon't even comment on the finger up the butt thing.
after reading all of this...Ive got nothing!!! gay manilow...fingers in the bum...ugh!!!! Anyway HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing worse than Barry Manilow herself is a Barry Manilow impersonator. They refuse to break role no matter what (even, I'm assuming, if you were to stick a finger in their bum). And, it's weird, but all those impersonators are men, as though dudes do a better impression of famous women (Barry, Cher, etc.) than actual women could.
ReplyDeleteIt was her long curved nails that scared you away from the butt thing, wasn't it?
ReplyDeletegood job you did stear away from the fingers up the bum (you need a girl with short nails for that) :)
ReplyDeleteDude. Could you please keep our antics private? Or I'll tell everyone how you used to whack off to "Copacabana!"
ReplyDeleteI once got lucky and when I got back to her place she showed me her full collection of cassettes. I could listen to anything I liked, provided it was by Hazel O'Connor. Hazel O' Fucking Conner. I left.
ReplyDeleteTo my eternal shame if she'd been less minging I probably would have stayed.
Who am I trying to kid? I stayed.
Haha I wouldn't be surprised if someone who listened to barry manilow would want to stick fingers in a butt, its probably subconsciously embedded into his songs.
ReplyDeleteGood thing you got out unscathed!
A Fanilow tried to butt poke you? That's awesome!
ReplyDeleteCopacabana isn't that bad.
ReplyDeleteYou still love me, right?
RIGHT?!
Odd. I had you pegged as the "Fanilow" type.
ReplyDeletepeace & have you missed me?
#2
Yes, he is officially gay. Do you think he might have inspired her to try the finger thing?
ReplyDeleteThis gives new meaning to the phrase, "She gave me her digits".
ReplyDeleteThat's a really funny scene, one which I can identify with totally. But I have to admit, a lot of the music from the 70s that I wasn't into at all at the time now has a deep nostalgic beauty to it for me. I'm like that with the Beatles. At the time the Stones and the Who were cool. But now, whenever I hear an old Beatles' tune, I'm usually familiar with all the words and it often touches me deeply. It'd probably be the same with Barry.
ReplyDeleteAre you gonna make fun of me now? I can take it, go ahead.
Mike - are you really Barry?
ReplyDeleteMy mother took me to see both Barry Cantaloupe AND Frank Sinatra. I liked them both. And, yes, my mother really does call him Barry Cantaloupe, cause he's a fruit.
ReplyDeleteBarry Cantaloup. Dots a good von.
ReplyDeleteHow could you not like someone who cleverly incorporates such things as the Bermuda Triangle into his songs AND looks like the lovechild of Morgan Fairchilds and a tortoise?
ReplyDelete