Sometimes I get these urges. Urges to approach strangers and do or say something weird. Well, they're not really urges. I just think about the stuff to amuse myself if I'm out somewhere and I'm bored.
Like there's an old lady walking down the street and I just angrily approach her, stare her down, then start violently tap dancing. Maybe in circles. Or maybe back and forth to block her way. Then I say, "Yeah..uh huh..that's right" (as if she knows what I'm talking about)..then I hug her and walk away.
Or I approach a random stranger and say, "YOU are going the way of the Dodo."
Then I see someone behind them, "No YOU are going the way of the Dodo." And I push the first fellow out of the way.
And I keep saying it to different people. Until I run out of people. Then maybe I start over. I'm not sure yet.
I think if it were captured on film it could make a great TV show. I would just love to see the reactions on the faces of these poor sad sacks.
Does anyone else ever want to approach strangers and do this or is it just me? Come on..don't lie.
The dodo bird is a really ugly bird and I'm glad it's extinct. Otherwise, we'd have to always look at how ugly it is. No thank you.
ReplyDeleteChemgeek - he was an ugly little bastard wasn't he?
ReplyDeleteWhen asked a question by a stranger, I often jut out my lower jaw and respond with a line from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
ReplyDelete"We got lumps of it around the back" while pointing over my shoulder.
My favorite is when they ask me again.
I once saw a man exclaiming from the middle of the street "I like to grease it with lard!". I thought it was strange....and a little scary.
ReplyDeleteOMG yes! I am constantly thinking of funny things I want to say or yell or do to strangers. I don't plan them like you do; it's more a reaction to things I see them doing or saying.
ReplyDeleteThankfully my filter still works and I stop myself or else I'd be friendless and in a loony bin. I can't wait until I'm geriatric enough to get away with this stuff.
Hey! We should get ourselves assigned to the same assisted living home! THAT would be good times.
My favorite thing to do to random strangers is answer them when they are talking on their bluetooth headsets. I hate those things.
ReplyDeleteRandomly thank people, in a really enthusiatic, verbal manner...
ReplyDeleteThank You! You are a saint!
I like to talk to strangers in my Elmer Fudd voice. Whenever asking directions from someone I usually say:
ReplyDelete"Hewwwo, cood u teww me how tow get tow *insert destination*"
What's the frequency Kenneth?
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me a little bit of Tom Green.
ReplyDeleteI would kill to see you tap dance violently! hahaha!
As someone who regularly gets busted by strangers doing things like dancing in the aisles of the grocery store or meowing or barking at other people's pets, I say go for it.
ReplyDeleteNot exactly tap dancing in circles around people, but my own little outlet for the crazy nonetheless.
Just don't do anything that would get you arrested or get your name in the paper.
In other words: no nudity.
Whiskeymarie - I thought you were going to reference that woman you mentioned before that sneezed and farted at the same time in that store.
ReplyDeleteSort of, but without the whole "touching strangers" part of the equation.
ReplyDeleteOK, OK, OK. People, that's all great and stuff, but Jepers H. Crackers the dodo was one f*#kin' ugly bird!!!! Seriously, look at it.
ReplyDeleteI like to go up to deli counters, cut in front of everyone and yell as loud as I can:
ReplyDelete"I'D LIKE SOME BACON!...AND SOME CHEEEEEEEEEESE!"
Then hop away.
Try it at home, kids.
I'm suprized no one has called the cops on you...
ReplyDeletewait, have they??
Canndy - not that I know of.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in high school I used to wonder what the teacher would do if I crawled under his desk and just sat there. I never had the nerve to do it.
ReplyDeleteThat's probably a good thing.
Which reminds me of a funny story. My 5th grader had a substitute teacher a couple of weeks back and when she wasn't looking a boy in the class got in the coat closed, piled up some coats and fell asleep. The sub found him an hour later, completely zonked out.
Sounds like he's a little yak in training.