AARP Narrows Down New Expression To Be Used By Old People

Wichita, Kansas

Old person organization AARP announced today the runner up choices in it's search to find a new cliche' expression that can be used by old people. Oldster Len Morris explains,

"The bit where we say, 'When I was a kid, we walked to school five miles - uphill both ways' is getting very, very old. It's been so over used in fact, that it rarely even warrants the polite, 'OK Pops, here's another gimlet and there's the couch'. We decided that the time has come to introduce a new joke.

The top contenders being considered are:

1. When I was a kid, we didn't have expensive puppets to play with like you kids, we had to make them out of things like ice tongs and oats.

2. When I was a kid, the only things we were allowed to do on the weekend was pet an ox or get polio...that was it.

3. AHHH my heart ! (while holding chest)

Bingo parlors nationwide will be closed Friday afternoon as millions of seniors anxiously await the results.