There is a campaign to eliminate the use of a certain word from usage in our language. I stumbled upon it today. I think it's time that everyone make the pledge. That's when I'll proudly step in and give the world five new choice replacements. A synonym if you will. And you can trust me that I just won't replace the first letter with a "W". That would be too easy.
To see the word, and imagine my reaction when opened the page, click the words: What if we say it in a funny way though?
(and 5 points to the first reader that understands how the picture relates to the story)
This was easy--you wish to eliminate the use of the word "retard" from polite conversation. Of course, the elevator panel links us back to the Chris Burke blog that totally expolited and mocked those who are retarded, but I'm glad you've seen the error of your ways. Now about my 5 points....
ReplyDeleteOh come on, retard is a funny word when not actually applied to a REAL retard. It is. Truly!
ReplyDeleteThat photo of the elevator buttons is retarded as there's no number 13. I hate when buildings have no 13th floor. It's like the elephant in the room. You go to the 14th floor and everyone KNOWS it's really the 13th. Just calling it something else doesn't make it so. RETARDED.
No?
Oh yeah, that's your elevator to hell in the photo.
ReplyDeleteI vote for "Zibbsian" as an appropriate replacement for the r-word.
I love that one of your readers is named "Crotchpains." Fantastic. Why doesn't he/she have a blog?
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a tiny boy I called tards "Noo-noos" There was a noo-noo in my neighborhood in Henderson named Billy Chadwick and Billy Chadwick enjoyed two things only. Shitting on the sidewalk and singing Toto songs. True story.
ReplyDeleteI *NEVER use the 'r' word.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a beautiful example of how retarded our society becomes that we need a retarded website campaign to get rid of the word 'retard'.
*=except all the frikking time!
There was a noo-noo in my neighborhood in Henderson named Billy Chadwick and Billy Chadwick enjoyed two things only. Shitting on the sidewalk and singing Toto songs. True story.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Seriously, though, I am so sick of people getting offended by every little godforsaken thing in the universe. Heaven forbid we hurt anyone's feelings or cause anyone to (GASP!) laugh at themselves.
As Words Words Words put it so eloquently long ago, (you know, I'm always stealing what he says), "I'm offended by people who get offended."
And that's all I gotta say about that.
Who's this Important Internet Blogger you speak of? Did you write this so we'd all say retard? Have you picked me as your running mate yet? Do I ask too many questions? What are you having for dinner?
ReplyDeleteIn England in the 1980s the Spastics Society changed their name to Scope in a bid to stop people using the word 'Spastic' as an insult. We didn't lose a word, we gained one. And it was Scoper.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand what they're complaining about. Retards have never been more popular.
ReplyDeleteWhat about the phrase flame retardant, am I still allowed to use that word? Have you ever seen the look on a clerks face when you ask for a pair of flame developmentally delayed pajamas? They look at you like you're a ... oh god damn it!
ReplyDeletehahahahaha kirby
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but I could never give up this word.
ReplyDeletestill laughing at Kirby's comment
ReplyDelete#1
Sofa King.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you've seen this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wNcXVlg3OQ
Maybe we don't have to say anything.
ReplyDeleteTry this:
-Look your friend in the eye.
-Maintain eye contact while turning you head downward and sideways.
-At the same time, ball your hand into a fist while bending your elbow and bringing your forearm to your chest.
-Make Nunnngh sound similar to monster in Young Frankinstein.
See, problem solved.
speaking of Billy Chadwick, when a mentally challenged individual takes a shit, is that called a "returd"?
ReplyDeleteOh dear lord...the comments are killing me.
ReplyDeleteTo add another story...both of my nephews are special needs. They are both intelligent kids but probably a grade behind their peers. Anyway, growing up my younger bro (the boys father) and I loved the movie Sixteen Candles. Remember the scene where grandpa is calling the police about losing the "Donger"? And after his description he listens and says "no, he's not retarded". Well whenever the boys do or say something a little off my bro looks at me and repeats that line. What's my point? Well if he can say it so can I.
But I prefer to call people Wiitards.
That's a nice sentiment but most people only use that word in reference to people WITHOUT disabilities....
ReplyDeleteI want it to be OK to use the N-word in reference to other white people.... When I enter a room, the first thing I want to know is how all my N*&^&#@s are doing.
You guys are a bunch or retards
ReplyDeleteA guy I work with called a student a "fucking retard" and got sent to sensitivity training.
ReplyDeleteHe didn't deserve it.
The guy was a fucking retard.
Since I'm swearing here, I like "fucktard" as well as "dewtard"- a reference to the beverage of choice of non-developmentally-disabled tards the world round.
I can't believe that Whiskeymarie didn't include one I learned from her: "Hotard" (long "o"). One of my favorite words now.
ReplyDeleteand now rcubed doesn't seem like such a good name
ReplyDeletei am dyslexic - what is a drater? is that someone who is retarded?
ReplyDeletei am puzzled
I have been chastised by a 14yr old on how rude it is to say. I love RETARD. It doesn't mean what I think they think it means.
ReplyDeleteooh! ooh! I know! I know! (waving raised arm anxiously)
ReplyDeleteThe picture isn't 'retarded'... lol... I think you were going for the 13th chromosome aspect. Yes, the elevator is missing the 13th floor. Although, don't the... a-hem... disabled have an EXTRA 13th chromosome?
NOW who's got the five points?! And where exactly do I redeem them?
Crotchpains wins 5 points
ReplyDeleteOh now that's just RETARDED
ReplyDelete