Clarinets, Practical Jokes, Traditions and America

So here's another practical joke/leg pulling in my series. Years ago when I was first dating Mrs Z, she and my sister's boyfriend were over my parents house for a big 4th of July party. It was probably the 3rd or 4th time each of them had been at the house. So this is what happens:

Me: (to future Ms. Z and boyfriend): So did Julie tell you two about the speech?

Ms Z: What speech?

Me: The 4th of July speech.

Boyfriend: What are you talking about.

Me: My Dad is really patriotic so every 4th of July, before he plays some patriotic songs on the clarinet, he asks that new people do a speech about what America means to them.

Ms Z: Are you kidding?

Me: Well it's not really a speech, you just have to tell some things about why you think America is great, or 4th of July memories. Stuff like that. But you should make some notes because it's got to be like five minutes long. And don't make a mockery of it while you're doing it because...well.....just don't.

Boyfriend: Five minutes each?

Me: Yeah each or you can do it together. Either way, you guys should start thinking of some things because you have to be ready right before dinner. We'll be doing it in the living room. That's the tradition.

I let them suffer for about five minutes then I told them I was kidding. Suckaaaaas.

Good Neighbor Day

Chester County residents flocked to Downingtown's Kerr Park yesterday for the annual Good Neighbor Day Festival. As usual, many non locals - unfamiliar with "Good Neighbor Day" were disappointed upon learning that the Downingtown event has completely nothing to do with Ned Flanders - the popular Simpsons character.

"I was pretty pissed - I mean - 'Good Neighbor' - you know, 'hey Diddly Doo neighbor' - it's totally Ned Flanders. It's text book bait and switch. We came all the way from Maryland for this?"

Disappointment for many however turned to joy as they discovered the famous Inflated Uncle Sam (see amazing photo above). Just look at that Uncle Sam, all blown up, larger than life and perfectly framed by two strategically placed flower pots. Throughout the day, hundreds flocked to the inflatable Uncle Sam. Many dancing around him - others gained courage and moved closer to see if he was in fact real. And others took advantage of the top of the hour "Inflatable Uncle Sam speaks" portion of the festival where a few chosen Downingtown residents were invited to stand behind the blow up figure and pretend they're the Inflatable Uncle Sam. Although most lucky VIP's respectfully used their 30 seconds with the microphone, one jerk, who turned out to be from Coatesville, almost ruined the event by yelling into the microphone ,"Lambert's an A-hole and his truck is a piece of s**t. And his old lady's a skank!" He was quickly tackled and patriotically beaten by the locals.

School House Rock 4th of July

Happy 4th of July dummies. Here's one of School House Rock's weaker and less well known cartoons: