My Dad Would Not Put Up With This 1972 Peter Pan Peanut Butter Nonsense

Here's what would have happened if the Peter Pan Peanut Butter "Man" came through our window in 1972 if my Dad got wind of it*. First watch the commercial:



(my dad walking into the kitchen)

Dad: What the hell is going on?!!

Peter Pan: (all flamboyant and excited) Peter Pan is the peanut butter eaters peanut....

Dad: Hit the breaks! Time out! What the hell are you doing in my kitchen?

Mom: Jim, he wants to know if we're the peanut butter...

Dad: Sally I'll handle this! (pins Peter Pan against the wall. Pan's hat falls to the floor. Eyes are watery. He's terrified) I'm not going to to ask you this again. What the hell are you doing in my kitchen?

Peter Pan: ..uh..uh...(gulps) I bring the peanut beaters butter eater....

Dad: Listen Tinkerbell, get the marbles out of your mouth and.....

(Peter Pan faints)

Mom: Jim you killed him!

Dad: Sally, I didn't touch him! That's it. Get me the number of West Whiteland Township. I don't pay taxes to have a Peanut Butter man coming in my window......

And it goes on from there.....

*If anyone wants to fund this and make it into a play, please contact me privately.