Ban Deodorant People Need To Fire Marketing A-hole. Limited Edition Collectible.

I've never called for anyone to be fired but after reaching for deodorant this morning that's all changed.

I was out of my own deodorant so I was fishing around in the closet and found Ban Vanilla Scented Deodorant. I guess it'll be fine to wear for a day. I don't really smell so I only wear deodorant because I'm a very compassionate person and I don't want stinky people to feel different.

Well guess what's on the label of this vanilla scented Ban bottle? I'm not lying here. It says, "limited edition packaging"!!

How in the hell is this a selling benefit? How many levels of the marketing department saw this and thought it was a good idea to make it "limited edition"? I could see if it were in a train shaped glass bottle like those crappy Avon colognes but it's in the regular shaped plastic bottle.

Or maybe I'm missing something. Maybe I should hoard as many as I can and in fifty years I can bring a case of them on Antiques Roadshow.

"What you have here Dr Zibbs is a perfect vanilla scented Ban bottle. Notice how it's light green instead of dark green. I've seen pomegranate scented bottles go for $5000 at auction but I don't recall ever seeing vanilla. Congratulations."

"Wow. I could sell it but I guess the wise thing to do will be to keep it in the family as it's such a part of our family history."

Canary In A Coal Mine Cage Spotted Near Lancaster

Everyone knows that miners would put a canary in a coal mine to make sure the mine was safe...well..some people don't but most do. I took this picture a while back at an antique store near Lancaster, PA. It's an actual jail cell that was used to hold the canary. It's hard to tell from the picture but there's a little seat in the cage as well as a water dish.

I was by myself when I saw this cage but if a friend* had been with me I would have asked the antique store person if the cage came with a miniature harmonica or a shiv. The antique store guy would have said, "Of course not." I would have then said, "Well do you know what buddy? You just lost yourself a God damned sale!" Then I would have stormed out like an antique store prima donna.


*The only reason I'd want a friend there is because if the situation got out of control and the fuzz came, I'd have the friend pretend he was a stranger and say that the antique store guy was at fault. I'd then say that I'd forget the whole situation if he gave me the canary jail.

Great Republican Convention Gift - PA Shop Has It

"Crackleberry Farm Antique Mall? I aint' goin' thar."

Well you sir may be a fool because if you're traveling west from West Chester and Chester County on Route 30 in PA, it's only a short ride until you hit Paradise, PA. You didn't read that incorrectly. We're talking Amish country. 20-30 minutes from modern civilization.

And you would think with the Amish, with their fear of electricity, Eskimos and things that click that the only they have for sale or barter would be pie tins, doily and frilly fabrics and drawings of "the English" enjoying funnel cake. That's where YOU are wrong. Because on a recent visit there, I found the proof. A good ole' fashion Richard M. Nixon shower nozzle (see picture above).

I'm sure its not too late to have this baby shipped overnight for your lady at the RNC. Go for it.

In case you want to call and see if the Nixon is still there, the phone number is: 717-442-8805.