Real Practical Joke. Calendar Models. College High Jinks.

So I while back on my blog I did a series of posts about practical jokes I've done. Here's another one. Grab a carpet mat and have a seat and I'll treat you to another one. Gather in closer now.

You! No eating!

OK. So it was in college and I'm walking down the dorm hall and this jackass that I never could stand was leaning against a doorway harassing this shy girl.

Guy: So admit it Patty. You're a virgin.

Shy Girl: Will you just shut up.

Guy: It's not a big deal. But why won't you admit it? You're a virgin aren't you?

Shy Girl: (about to cry) Just shut up.

This had been going on for a while.

So later on that night, I was hanging out with these two chick that were really funny and asked the one to do this. I was going to do it myself but was afraid he'd recognize by voice. So the one called him:

(Phone rings)

Guy: Hello?

My Chick Friend: Hello is this Barry?

Guy: Yeah.

My Chick Friend: Well hello Barry, this is Mary Ann from American Collegiate Calendars.... And the reason we're calling is that we put out a calendar every year featuring various students from colleges in the region and we'd like to see if you'd be interested in posing.

Guy: (All excited and shit) Really?

My Chick Friend: Really. Now we did get your name anonymously from someone that apparently watches you play football? - looks like you've got an admirer. Would you mind posing in your football outfit?

Guy: Yeah OK.

So we give him more info and tell him that the photographer was going to be at a specific building in a week. This jackass was so excited he called every friend he knew, called his parents and was walking around like a dick.

So the day comes and I see him walking out of the dorm. About an hour later he comes back all pissed off, opens his door and throws his crap in the room.

Mission accomplished. Don't mess with Zibbs.

Philly Beer Week. Beer Calendar. Chester County. This Weekend.

So March 6 - March 15 is Philly Beer Week. There are 693 events in Philly and the surrounding suburbs. I'm probably not going to be able to make it to all 693 events but I will make it to something.

If you take a look at my Amazon ads on the side bar I just put up the Joe Six Pack's Philly Beer Guide. Buy it from me and I'll get a tiny bit of the money. It's your way of saying thanks to me for writing this amazing blog. I'll also put you on the list of people I won't kick in the nuts when I meet you for being a glommer who reads my blog and doesn't pay me by buying shit. And while I'm on the subject, my blog reports are showing a slight dip on people that kiss my ass in the comments section. I don't want to have to mention this again.

And onto the subject of beer. If you ever meet me, three beers that you can buy me that I'll never turn down are Guinness, Corona (I know - boring but refreshing) and Victory Beer's Hop Devil. Write yourself a note so you remember.

And here are a few local beer links: Seen Through a Glass and West Chester Beer Consortium

What are your go-to beers?

Famous Blogger Announces 2009 Calendar Of Hotties

I hope you saved the receipt for your Ziggy Calendar because you're probably going to be returning it. The reason? I hereby announce the THAT BLUE YAK 2009 wall calendar*. I'm not only releasing this to have a handy reference to the days of the week, but also as a blogger keepsake. A collectible. Since I already have a lot of foxy ladies reading this blog**, I thought I'd use their images for the calendar in exchange for the $1000 per year subscription fee that everyone who reads my blog has unknowingly signed up for.

So click on the links to see the 2009 Yakettes:

January Melo - She's the red head in the middle.

February Alice - in sexy Halloween outfits. The playboy bunny is my favorite.

March Lydia - She's the 4th picture down on the right (and some pictures below that).

April Gwen - The top picture with the fingers for gun is my favorite in this one.

May Ms. Florida Transplant - Hopefully she'll read this before she picks the winner of her current caption contest (hint - bribe - hint - wink)

June Beckeye - In her witchy-evil pose.

July Chele - Doing one of her famous splits on the dance floor.

August Morgetron - This is her with red hair.

September Whiskey Marie - One cool chick.

October Chris - this one is for the ladies and my gay readers. Look at those handsome poses. (note that I have no idea if Chris looks more like Brad Pitt or the Elephant Man. As I'm 100% straight man, all dudes look identical to me).

November - This month reserved for a picture of a unicorn with an inspirational saying. Or a tractor.

December -This month reserved for any female bloggers that usually don't post pics of themselves in their blog. Just send me a few pictures. Remember, there's only one spot left so if the picture of you happens to be of you kissing another girl or something titillating, my secretary may accidentally move it to the top of the pile. So get snappin'.

*Images for calendars will be printed and bound by users - or - more simply, just print out the pictures and tape them to a calendar from an Insurance company that you'll probably be receiving in the mail soon. Don't forget to write "That Blue Yak" on each page with a Sharpie. You know, so it looks authentic and all.

**For those of you that didn't make the cut this year, make sure to leave more pictures of yourselves on your blog so this cut and paste BS doesn't take me more than 5 minutes for the 2010 edition.

(and one more thing, I'm not responsible for what some of the male readers "do" with these pictures. Seriously, have you seen some of the creeps that visit this blog? Sheeeshh!)