So I'm reading my comments from the post about mooning and laughing at some of the funny things people wrote. Then I read the comment from Whiskey Marie :
"I've never mooned anyone because I have an irrational fear of strangers accidentally catching a glimpse of my butt hole in unflattering light. I wish I was lying, and I wish I could stop confessing these things to you people."
As soon as I read that it hit me. Sphincter Patch! A patch that covers the sphincter so that people that are weary of mooning can do it without worrying about others seeing their butt holes in an "unflattering light". Whatever that means. Maybe it can even come with some sort of hatch or flap so that the patch can be raised to expose the sphincter. You know - in case the person starts feeling a bit more comfortable and they want to expose their sphincter without the hassle of having to remove the entire sphincter patch garment. Holy cow! I've got an invention on my hands!
...felt.....rubberbands....stenciling materials....tinfoil....glitter.....pipe cleaners......Sorry I'm just so excited that I'm brainstorming out loud. I wonder how much a patent is?... I better go. I really need to get down to my workshop and crank out a few prototypes.
In the mean time, will someone please tell me what Whiskey Marie means by an "unflattering light?"
I wear a skimpy thong for just such an occasion. Enough coverage to hide the brown eyed starfish, but not enough to cover the cheeks.
ReplyDeleteMakes for easy drivebys too, and if the cops catch you, you can claim you weren't REALLY naked.
I really need to get a life, but you guys are ever so funny! I'm with Whiskey Marie. Wouldn't want to expose the black hole for what it really is and I think poopbomber may have solved the need for your invention.Sorry Zibbsy:( A skimpy thong works perfectly to conceal those "unflattering light" possibilities and leaves it's wearers moon ready at all times.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant Poopbomber! Thanks for the great tip. But really Zibbs, I love the way your mind works.
I think that all light is unflattering light when it comes to exposing the chocolate starfish. That's why anal bleaching is so popular! (I saw this on Dr. 90210 - it really is a very popular service!)
ReplyDeletethink "mud flaps"
ReplyDeletethen you can put shiny chrome naked ladies on it, confederate flags, 'tinkling' calvin cartoons, yosemite sam, and more. so much more.
Lydia - SSSSSSure you saw it on Dr 90210. And do you have a "friend" who just happens to have the pamphlet as well?
ReplyDeleteOgremcg - You my friend may have a job as an inventor's apprentice.
I had a great laugh over this post and then poobomber pushed me over the edge. Funny stuff, Dr. Z, funny stuff.
ReplyDeleteYou are frickin kidding me!!! BTW, Patents are a LOT of money. I'd move on to another thought and FAST!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd WTHeck (I'm trying not to swear so much)that was my New Year's Resolution.. Shit, the years almost up. I (we) have to listen to Obama speak tonight?? He's delaying the game????? Did I just hear that correctly on Fox News??
WHAT IS THIS COUNTRY COMING TOO!! One can't DELAY the Phillies kickin some ass tonight by 15 minutes, it's just not right!!
I'm grabbing a beer and taking a bath, you'll have to excuse me. Someone call me when the game is on!!!
Go SARAH and is it Friday yet? I want that shitty prize damnit!
- Jennifer
Well, since nobody else is going to ask, just what the hell are the pipe cleaners for???
ReplyDeleteNo glitter! That stuff has sharp edges!
ReplyDeleteI've been wondering what kind of doctor you are (Dentist, Neurologist, Rug, etc) but with sooo many ass-related posts, there can really be only one answer: Proctologist.
ReplyDeleteGood for you. I suppose.
Now I get what the pipe cleaners are for!
Cora - "rug doctor" good one. And thanks for visiting my blog.
ReplyDeleteI'm touched that you would find a way to help me overcome my phobia.
ReplyDeleteYou are the best doctor ever! I hope I'll be the first recipient of the "sphincter patch"! I'd like mine to either be sparkly pink or have flames on it.
Thanks.
*laughing to self about post and whiskeys last comment*
ReplyDeletethats just great! i wonder if the patch will come with a mood filter on it as another option. changes color with a persons mood...
fun post...
*leaves comment box to root around the blue yak blog*
Admit it, Zibbo: You just wanted to type "sphincter" five times. That's the only reason for this post.
ReplyDeleteThink flourescent lighting. Women know that some types of lighting are more flattering than others, like candle light. Hides a multitude of sins. Though I'm having a hard time imagining a situation in which one would moon anyone in either flourescent lighting OR candlelight.
ReplyDeletemaybe it's just that her butthole is huge???
ReplyDelete