I'm pretty friendly when it comes to talking to people that are servicing me. But I've got an issue with a particular librarian at our local library. Whenever I check out books, this individual needs to comment on the books.
This person sometimes even opens the book. "'Hmmm. Organic gardening huh? I guess it is about that time that people are starting to think about Spring.'" Or "'Cover Letters for Dummies'. Well you don't have to be a dummy to get your resume together these days.'"
I feel like getting these books out someday - and then this will happen:
"OK. What do we have today?. Oh. 'Making Masks'. Interesting. Alrighty and..Wow, "'The World of Serial Killers'. Creepy stuff there. And finally, 'Cover Your Tracks Without Changing Your Identity.' "
(nervously) "Will there be anything else?"
Yeah. Will you help me carry them to the car?
If The Reader's Digest ever publishes an evil version - I'm going to sell them this post. I think it would fit in nicely with that surprise ending thing I did there.
That's kind of like when the girl at the bank comments on my overdraft status.
ReplyDelete"Mind yer business, back off - just, just mind yer business"
Also, great punch line
Do it, do it, do it.
ReplyDeleteThat'd be funny if there was a book called "Death of the Librarian" that could be one of the choices.
ReplyDeleteYou should have looked for the book "How to give the perfect blow job." THAT might shut her up. And then, pass it over.
ReplyDeleteStudy will enable people to learn more knowledge and information. So want to read what book, what book to study. :-D
ReplyDeletehttp://eyesinkaleidoscope.blogspot.com/
http://fymtyh.blogspot.com/
Or maybe check out some sex books like, "The Handy Guide to Penis Pleasing" and "Group Sex and You" while staring at the librarian and breathing heavily through your mouth.
ReplyDeletei think it's kind of sad. she probably doesn't have many friends, and this is her way of making small talk.
ReplyDeletei think, just for fun times, you should start responding to her using a sock puppet. that'd be awesome. and maybe change your voice.
Do you get "serviced" often?
ReplyDeleteCaffeine Court - I was waiting for someone to chime in over that nugget.
ReplyDeleteLOL Caffeine made me forget my own comment. : x
ReplyDeleteI just can't think of anything funnier than the sex books, heavy breathing combined with staring, and a sock puppet. You should do all of it, on the same day. She'll either slip you her number or quit her job. Well, actually, she might call the cops, but go for it anyway.
ReplyDelete"I'm pretty friendly when it comes to talking to people that are servicing me."
ReplyDeleteIs she the Head Librarian you say? Check her knees!
I think you should check out two serial killer books and two cookbooks for wild game.
ReplyDeleteAnd also "Chicken Soup For The Guy Who Likes Beating Up Nosy Librarians". There's a Chicken Soup book for EVERYBODY these days.
Nice ending there.
ReplyDeleteI always worry about what my librarian thinks of me.
I don't know why I care. Maybe I wasn't validated enough as a kid?
Its not that guy with the noodly fifties hairdo and Buddy Holly glasses, is it? You got to talk to him sometime. He's a weird dude.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that ever bothered me about that place is that no one tells people to take their screaming kids the hell outside. That library needs a silence nazi.
Shieldmaiden - I will not confirm nor deny.
ReplyDeleteYou are an evil genius. I like that trait in a friend. lolol
ReplyDeleteI was going to recommend checking out books that have been banned and/or burned throughout history for shock value until I saw what's on the list and realized it isn't funny.
ReplyDeleteAuthors I found on the list: John Steinbeck, Jack London, Toni Morrison, Mary Shelley, Mark Twain, J.D. Salinger, Harper Lee, Kurt Vonnegut, Richard Wright, Alice Walker.
Sweet baby jeebus, extremists are dumb.
Maybe she thinks you're cute, Zibbs. And she just wants to talk to you, hmmm?
ReplyDelete