Tuesday, April 10, 2012

This Is A Way I Torture My Daughter. Deodorant.



This is how I've been torturing my daughter. I'll get out of the shower and put pants on (one leg at a time like you guys) then realize I'm out of deodorant. So I'll stand in her doorway and sloooooowly reach my hand in toward her deodorant.

Daughter: Oh no Dad. Please?

Me: (acting surprises) Oh what? Sorry. I just need to borrow some of your precious deodorant.

*Slowly applies deodorant and makes a face as if it's super refreshing*

Me: Awww yeah that's doing it....Yup.. Wait. Why are you making that face? Like you just smelled eggs or saw something gross. Wait? Do you think I'm gross??

Daughter: No...uh...nothing. That's OK.

Me: OK. Let me just finish up here and I'll be on my way. (does one last swipe) Annnnnd DONE!

Sometimes I'll leave the room and come back....

Me: Sorry. I think I missed a spot...
at

14 comments:

  1. The JulesApril 10, 2012 at 3:27:00 PM EDT

    Do you have a collection of hairs you could leave on it after use, for that personal touch?

    ReplyDelete
  2. sybil lawApril 10, 2012 at 5:20:00 PM EDT

    I was totally gonna ask if you left arm hairs in it. Ewwwww.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dr ZibbsApril 10, 2012 at 8:31:00 PM EDT

    I love that idea!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dr ZibbsApril 10, 2012 at 8:42:00 PM EDT

    Sybil - I really need to empty a hairbrush and tape it to that thing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. SmedetteApril 10, 2012 at 8:43:00 PM EDT

    I missed the "So I'll stand in her doorway" the first time I read this and wondered WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS YOUR DAUGHTER IN THE SAME ROOM WHILE YOU'RE SHOWERING?!?

    My bad.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dr ZibbsApril 10, 2012 at 8:52:00 PM EDT

    smedette - your bad

    ReplyDelete
  7. ScopeApril 10, 2012 at 9:40:00 PM EDT

    Yeah, but try that with her ChapStick, and it's yours.

    ReplyDelete
  8. JillApril 10, 2012 at 9:51:00 PM EDT

    Very clever! Who'd'a thunk?!?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Radioactive ToriApril 11, 2012 at 9:02:00 AM EDT

    You are hilarious! (even though I'm sure your daughter is not as amused by this as I am)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dr ZibbsApril 11, 2012 at 12:56:00 PM EDT

    RG - Yeah she doesn't find it funny.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Gage1April 11, 2012 at 4:22:00 PM EDT

    I automatically assumed you were leaving behind pit hair!

    Have you ever seen this movie: http://youtu.be/hN-ZP0PFK-A

    Or have I ever shared this link with you?

    http://youtu.be/cylUp7cRU7s

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dr ZibbsApril 11, 2012 at 7:13:00 PM EDT

    tc - hahaha!!! i never saw that one! i've seen others. oh boy.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Candy's daily DandyApril 12, 2012 at 3:23:00 PM EDT

    OMG...that's literally horrifying.

    What till she shares that one with your grandchildren.
    And it's bad enough PLEASE dont be leaving hair on it.

    You may risk scarring her for life.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Dr ZibbsApril 12, 2012 at 7:10:00 PM EDT

    Candy - the hair thing will happen.

    ReplyDelete