Wolf Story That Will Win All Kinds Of Awards.

Here's this story I'm writing about wolves. I like to tape record my voice when I write a book then I write it out. In words. It's just easier this way. Free form...you know? Like a jazz player but with fucking words and shit instead of musical notes.

This may have to be a multi-part series. Like Roots. But with wolves. And no Levar Burton or the dad from Good Times.

...There's this fucking wolf but he's like a dire wolf so bigger than a grey wolf. And he's the leader of this tribe of other wolves. So at the beginning of the book his dad died or something and then he's banished from the tribe for some reason.....I don't know...I gotta work that out. But anyway he comes back to the tribe and he's all fucking fucked up and shit. Like scrawny and weak because it's hard to find fucking food when you're a wolf and you're on you own because of the way wolves hunt and shit. (It's true. I did research about wolves).

So he comes back in the tribe and and he fights the one leader wolf even though he's weak as shit. Bites his fucking neck, kills him then stands up on this rock and fucking howls. Big ass moon fucking shining on him and he's all strong now because he got energy from the blood from the wolf he just kicked the ass of.

All the other other wolves bow to him. Undisputed wolf leader. Then they go on all these adventures but he can change himself from a wolf into a human warrior. He looks like the dude on the cover of Flirtin' with Disaster (Molly Hatchet album). And he gets all these smokin' hot chick. Big ass titties and shit.

To be continued.....

CONTEST. Idea For Awesome TV Show. Siamese Twins.

Here's an idea I just came up with* for a TV Show (followed by instructions for a contest):

Character: Ping.

Description: He's one half of a Siamese Twin. His brother (Pong) died years ago but the skeleton is still attached to him.

Conflict: He tries to hide his brother - now a skeleton - my dressing him up.

Now this is the part I can't figure out. I can either...

1) Have the skeleton attached to his side and he dresses it in an overcoat, hat and sunglasses. When people ask, "Who's this guy?" He just changes the subject, "Oh him? Uh yeah..I've got to meet up with him later about this one thing...so ANYWAYS..."

2) The smaller skeleton is attached to his head. He covers it with one of those really long knit hats. But of course once in a while the hat peaks open and the skull or feet are exposed.

Setting: I'm thinking that maybe he works for a small city and is in charge of helping the city become Green compliant. See? This is a hot topic these days so...

I'm also thinking some hilarity can ensue because he's always trying to hide the skeleton. And people pick on him all the time. Like when he approaches, you can hear the skeleton bones hitting together, and maybe a bully says, "Hey everybody, here comes old Wind Chimes! Get it? Because he clanks like wind chimes? Yeah. Look at him!" Then the dick shoves him.

Everyone laughs at him. Except this one girl who might be in love with him.

And lastly, there will be weekly lessons that will be featured on the show. Like safe sex and not littering. You know..shit like that.

I don't know. What do you think?

And here's where the contest comes in. Draw a picture of the character and I'll post it on this here blog. And of course you'll get a valuable link to your blog. The winner will receive nothing. Because we're ALL winners. Right?

(my email address is Lebner1 AT Yahoo Dot Com. Write "TV Show Contest" in the subject line. And don't forget to leave your blog name as well).

Tenacious D. Cosmic Shame. It's Acoustic Holmes!

And a bit of Tenacious D for you. It's a Cosmic Shame.

Seriously, it is...because "that shit came off of the top a my fuckin' head ya'll"

Enjoy it Holmes....